LAST POST OF 2011

HEY! how's everything hanging? so okay hey guys. i wanna make this post to appreciate (i think that's the word) the year 2011. i mean, i don't want my last post of 2011 to be that "get money fuck bitches, get married eat sandwiches" thingy. even though i know it is super awesome!!! i know!! so, this last post of 2011 will be about.. well, 2011. everything that has happened throughout the year. wow. i didn't even notice things! i mean, i didn't know that i'm going to pass 2011 this fast. and the other thing is, i can't believe so many things happened in a very short amount of time. well, at least that's what i feel. okay i'm going to have to hurry because the countdown is an hour til midnight so...

okay. this year started off with some laughs. literally, laughs. laughs everywhere. i love laughs. well, not really. so 2011 with madesu, that is 8.1 or if you don't know me, then you suck it's my class in vincentius junior high. HAHA why do i laugh everytime i hear junior high. it sounds so small if you know what i mean. ANYWAYS, in madesu, i had so much fun. thank you guys. you're all amazing and awesome and hilarious. well... just thank you. i had the funniest moments with you guys. so thanks. we shared... well, mostly laughs. YCEFDMN. we had something back then... right? well, not everything is perfect. but either way, i love every single one of you madesu! much love! HEY SOUL SISTER AIN'T THAT AKDAUDGHUA

so many things happened, i don't know where to begin. let's see. when i first got promoted? wait what? promoted? up to 9th grade. oh my god 9th grade!! i feel so small... so when i first got up to ninth grade, i felt so sad because i had to leave madesu but oh well. my new class was 9.1 or so called communio. oh my god. okay at first, we were really awkward and ya know. but then we got to blend and what do you know, we mixed up so perfectly. HAH! the funny thing is, i actually felt something from this class. like something. no offense, but in madesu i didn't really feel anything. almost nothing. happy. why do i feel happy? I'M SO EMOTIONALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW! just thinking about them makes my heart warm. okay, communio, i love you and i can't wait to spend another semester with you. much much love from me!! oh and classmeeting lol okay let me talk about this. WE LOST. it felt.. terribly... good. it felt terribly good. i don't know. i just love them too much! i love you! okay i'm going to stop now you're all so hilarious. and cute. and IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIIIGGGHHHTTT

oh and so many things happened to me. yeah things have changed. losing best friends. gaining best friends. falling in love. founding love. getting lessons. losing faith. gaining faith. losing hope. gaining hope. parents. friends. family. teachers. people. lover. best buds. everything just fell right on to me. GLEE

i don't have hopes about next year. nope. nothing at all. since i don't really celebrate new years. but this year 2011, was a pretty wild ride in my life. it changed every perspective that i have towards everything. it changed everything that i may thought about before it actually happened to me. i was naive back then. now, i'm not as naive as i was. i didn't know stuff back then. now, i know what i should know, even though i don't want to know. everything that has happened to me showed everything in life that i didn't want to know at the first place. but well, i guess i have to. eventually. just like the speeches that quinn and rachel did in SHAfD, all we have to do is live. freaking live! all i want to do in 2012, the new year that's going to happen to my life in about 30 minutes, is to overcome. overcome everything that i will be facing. i will overcome. i will survive. and i will win. i will live. overcome. love better. know better. fight harder. trying to hang in there. and eventually i will overcome. learn from experiences. i have a lot of them. let's live. i will have to face hard things out there, but i will overcome. something is waiting for me. i just know it.

happy new year!

and so ends my last post of 2011

Get money, fuck bitches. Get married, eat sandwiches.

Anyone who says that looks are not important is full of shit. You NEED to be attracted to the person you are with.

 -Arielle Scarcella-

This is me swallowing my pride. Which is a hard thing for me because I'm not used to swallowing my own pride. But for you, I make an exception. I'd swallow my pride for your forgiveness. In fact, I'd do anything for it. I hurt myself for hurting you. But you don't seem to know how hard it is for me too. It's like you don't appreciate what I'm trying to do. Like everything I do is never enough. I'm lost. And you're not helping.

My love for you will never subside

A best friend once told me of how he loves his girlfriend. I know this seems so corny, but I think it is true. And he was so sincere about it. So, he told me this.

"I can't hate her. She's the only one that can make me feel this way. I love her. I'm sure she's the one. Because even though we fight a lot, my love for her won't lessen. We never thought about breaking up. I'm in love with her. Head over heels. My love for her is 100 %. It won't reduce in any way possible. Just because we fight a lot, it doesn't mean that I'm going to stop loving her. Because I love her too much to do that. She's everything to me."

And it was probably the truest thing I've ever heard him said. Oh he loves her so much. I love their relationship. I'm sure there's something waiting for both of them out there. He didn't say those things in the right way so I corrected him. But I know what he meant. I know exactly what he meant. I know exactly how he feels towards her. He was head over heels in love with her. And it's beautiful for a person to feel that way. To feel that he loves someone so much that he never thought a second about being apart from her. It's the most beautiful thing ever. How he has someone that he loves so much that he claims that she's his everything. That's what I love about them.

The point is, when you love someone so much that you think that he or she is the one, you'd never even think about being apart from them. It's way too cruciating. You love him or her too much to be seperated from them. Fighting alot doesn't mean that you don't belong to each other. It just means that you care. You care about them so much that you have to argue with them. But note this, your love for this person won't ever subside. No way. They're way too precious. You won't be able to let them go because you just.. love them too much. It's love.

And if you'd ask me if I had felt this before, I'd say yes.

Jealousy takes over. Again.

what is wrong with me

lalala let's dance

okay about the title... nope. nevermind. HEY. i don't have any intention at all for making this post! HA! i'm such an awesome person. i haven't done my assignment though. still an awesome person. okay so, i'm just going to write anything that's going through my mind lately. here goes nuthin'! I'M SUCH AN AWESOME PERSON.

i'm still working on madesu. yeah! can you believe that?! i'm kind of slow on this chapter cause i don't know what the hell should happen to you guys. but i added a new character. here, have some sneak peek.


"you know, if you're trying to believe something so impossible, you're going to get hurt more than if you just believe in reality" said the girl that was eyeing thalia the whole time.


thalia was shocked. she turned her head towards the girl and saw her. she couldn't saw her face because the girl was under the shadow. but her voice sounded... magical?


"who are you?" asked thalia. she was a little bit scared.


"oh. i'm just a person that you don't talk to" said the girl.


"show me your face!" said thalia. she was panicking now.


"don't be scared. i don't bite either" the girl walked slowly.


thalia could see her face now. wow. it was the first word that crossed her mind after seeing that face. it was literally perfect. her big bright purple eyes were weirdly stunning on her perfect porcelain skin. her lips were glossy soft pink. the glossy part was probably because of the lolipop that she was holding on her mouth. this girl was a student in vincentius high. thalia has seen her before, but she never took notice. she was different alright. very different. her look was freaky. but it worked. thalia knew that just then. the girl was somewhat interesting.

could you guess? no? yes? tell me all about it okay ;) this is going to be an interesting character. i love her already. her eyes are purple. PURPLE. PUR-PLE. PURH-PLEH. PUUURRRPLLEEE. P-U-R-P-E-L. i guess you already get that. (i know i did wrong at that last part. HAH! i'm not an idiot. bitches. that's not how you spell purple.. right? i knew that). okay so, this character talked about reality.

ABOUT REALITY, i'm not having a great time with it. totally. it's kind of a cockblock on anything i've ever dreamed about. like how i wanted to have a farm filled with unicorns and dolphins. or meeting up with the teletubbies and live with them like forever. yep, reality crushed it. my dreams turned into a mashed potatoes. the only difference between my dreams and mashed potatoes is, mashed potatoes are way more delicious. okay. so, the thing about reality is, it is real. so you kind of can't deny it. it's like facts. not fictions. fictions are so much more fun. deal with it. i mean, which one will you choose? a huge thick encyclopedia with.. encyclopedia stuff in it, or a huge thick harry potter novel with wand helders and a talking brown hat in it? i could already guess. fact is, reality always sucked.

i really don't have anything to do. really. this is the holiday season yet i'm dying wanting to go home. i'm not having fun whatsoever. i miss everything. well, not everything. a special... thing. a very very special thing. ah love. so, here i am, trying to find a highschool. i'm not really sure about this, but whatever. ya know. the whole "your future is important" and "we only give you the best" and "your future is what important to us" and everything. it almost felt like i'm doing something out of force and pressure. every crap has gotten crappier. everything i say is unimportant. yet my future is? so, yeah. what is my future anyways? no one could tell but me, right? but oh wow i'm not supposed to talk. okay then i say nothing. then my future would be nothing. when will people understand that my future is my saying? it's kind of unfair. but remember. fair isn't a word in anyone's vocabularies anymore. sad.

okay, so i was checking this thing out, and then i fainted. why? because of how perfect it is. oh i won't tell. it's a secret. YEAH I HAVE ONE, PROBLEM? aaahh i'm in love. YEAH I CAN BE IN LOVE, PROBLEM?

ehm. so i'm going to talk about my lasts. it's something that i came up with and even though it has been done before, i feel like doing it.

last activity. peeing. oh my god it was perfect because i almost spill it. so i was taking my aunt and her boyfriend (i guess. please don't make this complicated) to a bus thingy so both of them could go back to jakarta. but then my bladder was so freaking low i could feel it burning inside me. the moment i wanted to go to the toilet at the nearest mcd, my big pops told all of us that he wanted to take us to somewhere that has food in it. somewhere on the street. so i held my pee oh my god cruciating as hell. i didn't eat and absolutely didn't drink anything. i just sat there. on the street. YEAH IMMA GHETTO. and then we got back to the bus thingy because it was time for my aunt to go and then i went to that mcd again just to pee! HAH it felt so heavenly good. god, thank you for creating a way for us to pee. amen. one thing that i found very interesting is that mcd in tegal (YEAH THAT'S THE NAME OF THE TOWN. BITCHES) is so much more modern than ones in jakarta. SCORE.

last meal. meandoan lol i don't know what else to call it. straight up mendoan. it reminds me of a visit at astari's house with naomi. so we went to astari's house until late at night and we ate probably the most delicious mendoan ever. EVER. well, maybe after the ones in gonz. EVER.

last drink. uhh tea, i guess. AND I USED A SMALL CUP AND IT WAS SO ADORABLE OH MY GOD THE CUTEST CUP EVER IN MY LIFE I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DRINK FROM A SMALL CUTIE CHUBBY CUP EVER.

last hug. MYSELF. YEAH I CAN HUG MYSELF DEAL WITH IT.

last kiss. my fuckin adorable brother. no, not the big one ew. the smallest. oh did i tell you that my mother is now officially insane? everytime she sees my little brother she'd be like "he's the most perfect baby ever" and i was like "wha-" and she was all "ever." and it creeps the shit out of me. really.

last ride. ON A TRUCK. HELL YEAH.

last movie. wrong turn 4. oh my god this movie. you should just like watch it or something. i don't know what to call it. awesome or creepy or ew. let's watch it! i screamed a lot! yeay!

last song. simple plan- i can wait forever. YEAH I MISS SOMEONE, PROBLEM?

I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE LAST LOL OKAY SO BYE I GUESS.

oh and i hate judgemental people. stop underestimating others! you're a shitty person. i just wanted you to know that, okay ;)

STOP TOTURING ME I'M FRUSTRATED. yeah i'm mental.