explanations.

first of all,i wanna say sorry.to everyone,for being so sensitive lately.why?that's what i'm about to tell you.so you know,i am a kid.kids sometimes get confused about things.like......thinking "who am i?".but now,i'm not thinking about those stuff.well,i've stuck in that thinking position....um....almost long ago.so,it's not the problem.BUT what i AM thinking about right now is........."oh god.i'm bored" "oh god.him again" "oh god.her again" "oh god.this again" "oh god.that again" "GEEZ LIFE.why are you so boring?".yea kinda.

you know when you were a little kid and you always feel happy,everything is so magical,and life is so much fun.i wanna go back to those times.those times when i never get blamed,when i never get trouble,when there's no too much drama in life.and yeah,dramas are kinda annoying,sad,and pathetic.if you wanna get attetions,don't make a fucking drama.it's just so pathetic.if you wanna get attention,accomplish something good.is that a hard thing to do?oh well."drama people" are just too stupid to know that.

back to discussion.please forgive me.it's not your fault,it's mine.i'm just so confused lately about this concept that people called life.yes.i know.i'm still young and stupid.if i wanna know about life,i should live longer and keep searching and trying to find out about the secret of life.the mystery of life.

BUT do not forget.i am a stupid little kid.stupid little kids are dumb and they think they know everything.so i do too.now i realize i have problems.i don't have any passion about life.not anymore.

Do you know that feeling when you were a child and you wanna know stuffs?when you wanna know more?you know that?after I now know stuffs,i feel sorry for myself.i wanna go back through time and after i do that,i don't wanna know stuffs anymore.the less you know,the better.yeah,and this is confusing.

Do you know that feeling when you don't want to continue your life,but too afraid to die?worst feeling ever.that's how i feel right now.so hey,wow i just wanna say to god "god,please kill me.my life is not worth it.give my life to other people who really want to live".i say it all the time.but is H-I-M listening?no one knows.why am i so afraid to die?to die,all i need is a knife right?but killing myself is not right.people always said to me "H-I-M knows better.if H-I-M did this to you,then H-I-M has a special thing for you next".but if we looked at facts,like me.it seems like my life just got worst and worst everytime i live it.so,is H-I-M trustworthy?

hmmm and you notice how much i cried?i cried alot these days.i can't explain that.but what i do know is i cried because i just want to.i'm bored,therefore i cried.and people near me are just like "calm down,don't cry" well i'll tell you something.who are you to tell me to calm down?who are you to give me advice?who the hell are you?if you say that all the time,then fuck you.i don't need you to calm me down.and calming down won't change anything.i'm still the same.i'm still sad.oh my god.people these days are such an idiot.is it a sin for me to cry if i am sad?is it wrong if i cry because i feel sad and lonely?well is it?i can cry if i am sad.i can be positive again tomorrow forgodsake.people who let me finish my crying is the ones who understand me better.and i'm sure they know how i feel.thank you.

but still,i can't continue my life like this.not like this.i need help.i am a dumb little kid with problems.