maybe

i can't tell the difference between the person and the mistake. and maybe i'll never be able to. i loathe it. it's the reason for my attitude. but what do you know? nothing. you know nothing about my feelings. and her. oh god, her. doesn't she at least think about how i might react about this? i will never be able to get over her. she was everything. she was the best thing about me. she was supposed to be the thing that i'd be proud of. she was life. she was supposed to be the person that i can lean on. she was everything i could ever ask for. she was... she was just something important in my life. i can't live without her. even though i'm trying so hard. why can't i live without her? i love her. i used to love her. maybe i still love her. but why? just tell me why. why did you do that? don't you know how i might feel about this? three times. three fucking times. i thought she was better than this. she broke my heart. and no, things are not okay. i can't see or hear her without remembering how she does things behind my back.

maybe it's time to forgive. maybe she's sorry for what she has done. maybe i shouldn't be like this. maybe i have to learn to give second chances. maybe the word fair doesn't exist.

but hell what's the point?

i don't know. i don't know what to do or how to feel about this. i'm angry. i'm heartbroken. i'm filled with rage. but i'm tired. i still can't get over it. three times. so she did mistakes. she's still her. but i just can't. i'm sorry. for doing this. i just think that it's not fair.

what the fuck is the point?