it has been a week. a busy week for madesu. they practiced everytime, everywhere. they needed to win this thing. regionals. wow. another step to nationals. if they win this, maybe things will be different. and that was all they needed. a change. they wanted to show people that they could do anything. in this case, nationals.
that day was the day that could change their lives forever. there they were. every single one of the madesu club members in the parking lot. they were waiting their bus for the trip to regionals.
"okay guys, this is it. we have to give it all up here. all we have to do is to stay as calm as possible" said mr v. he saw the tension within all of them.
fransis couldn't stand still with his feet, venna was sitting on the bench just one meter away from him, feeling nervous. it showed from her gesture, she continuously rubbed her palms. it wasn't just because the air was freezing. michael was walking everywhere. here, there, here, there, here again, there again, and again, and then again. he fixed his glasses clumsily. come on michael, you can do this, you little punk. was all he thought about.
naomi was leaning her behind against someone's car. she didn't know and she didn't seem to care. she crossed her arms because of the coldness of the air. she wasn't really nervous about regionals. all she could think of was no one was there to warm her up. not michael nor chacha. she sighed plenty of times in regret. on the other hand, chacha was nervous as hell. she was sitting on the sidewalk. trying to remember the lyrics for the song that they would perform in that stage. lyrics weren't really her thing. but she definitely wasn't nervous about making herself trip when she would dance through the song. she would never trip. no way. she was riches freaking malchiella. no way she would trip on a stage when she was doing one of her favourite activities. dancing. she would just nail it. like she always did.
jessica was playing with her hat. it was a dark blue beanie with bouncy little purple balls hanging off each side. her mom kind of made it for her. a handmade hat from a mother was the worst thing that could happen in a high schooler's life. well except if you are one of the brady's. she would never, ever, ever wear that hat in any chance possible. that thought swayed through her head when albert walked towards her.
"hey" said albert
"hi" jessica replied
"how's it hanging?"
"not so good. i thought i would be like prepared for this, but i'm not ready at all. the thought of thousands of people watching me to perform on the stage is.... cruciating" said jessica
albert put his hand on her shoulder and said "hey, you're gonna do just fine" he smiled. then he looked at the blue thingy on her hand "what do you have there?"
jessica looked at her hat and sighed "oh, this thing?" she pointed it out to him and he simply nodded "oh it's just a stupid thing my mom has made for me. it's kind of like a hat... sort of... i guess. i mean, when my mom gave it to me this morning, my spirit just dropped in an instant"
"let me see it" said albert
"here" said jessica while handing the hat
he shooked his head "let me see it on you"
"are you being serious?"
"are you?" he said "come on. putting on a hat from your mother won't hurt anyone"
"well it could hurt you. it could like, make you vomit or something" said jessica
"oh please. everything looks perfect on you" said albert with a sincere smile. she could saw it clearly. it was heavenly, warming, and charming. she tried not to think about those things. remember jodi, remember him.
she sighed once more and finally she put it on her head. it looked cute on her "there. you see? i look like a dwarf"
he smiled at her. this time it was sweet and calming. it made her feel safe. like as if that smile could give her the protection from everything "i've seen worse" he said
she let out a shy smile but didn't say a thing. albert walked closer. and closer. and closer. a little bit closer. and there he was. only inches away from her. not taking his eyes off of her redden face.
"you are beautiful, jessica ravenski" said albert
she chuckled a little.
"what?" he asked
"you look so weird. like heavenly weird" said jessica
"how weird?"
"like you're in the clouds"
"you mean like i'm drunk or something like that?" he asked
"exactly" she said
"well maybe i'm drunk of your perfectness"
"the word perfect doesn't exist, bert" said jessica
"well it does in my world. and it could only describe one thing- no, one person" said albert "could you guess?"
"hmmm who could that be?" she pretended. she put her finger on her chin "i have no idea"
"i know you know. and you know it's true"
"what is?"
"that you're perfect to me. and will always be" he said
jessica blushed. how could he make her feel this way. this is wrong. she had a boyfriend. jessica, snap out of it.
but she didn't. she was at the clouds now. with albert, to be precise.
"we can't" said jessica
"we can. you know you have feelings for me"
"i know"
"there you go" said albert. he swept a stray of hair from jessica's face "nothing else matters right now, jes"
he moved his head closer to hers.
oh god.
god no.
this wasn't going to happen, was it?
jessica closed her eyes. waiting for something to happen.
something must happen, right?
oh god.
the excitement.
god she loved it. she loved it good.
she could hear her heart beated so hard that she was afraid he could hear it too.
the sensation was insane. she waited and waited and waited until she could feel a warm breath on her face. albert's breath. it was so warm. so peaceful. so pretecting. she wanted that. she wanted him.
wait, what?
no. oh god no. this wasn't happening.
jessica opened her eyes and was shocked. albert was just inches away from her.
"no, bert. we can't. i just told you we can't" said jessica
"yes, we can" said albert
"you can't force me to do something like that"
"but you like it"
"i admit, i do. but it's not that simple. and the fact that i like it doesn't mean that i want to. you know i have my own choices. why can't you respect them? why can't you just accept that i chose jodi?" she said
"what?" asked albert with a narrowed eyes "so you think i'm a choice? you think that this is some sort of a game? i'm not a furniture, jes. you can't just choose one of us and let the other washed away. i can't accept that" said albert
"but still, it's my decision. i had to choose. and i've chosen jodi as my boyfriend"
"so what does that make me? your second choice?" asked albert with an unbelieveable look
"well, i- "
"do you even know how i feel? what it makes me feel? i'm not a stone, you know. i have feelings too. and you can't just do that. it's just wrong. do you know how it feels to be your number two when you are always my number one?"
jessica didn't respond. she couldn't respond. say something. anything.
"well you know what? i'm sick and tired of always being number two on your list. it's just... " he looked at the floor with a sad look on his face. he was frustrated. she could see it. she felt guilty. but was it her fault? no one knew "it's just not fair"
she put her eyes on his face. it was grey. greyer than a grey face should be. then to his hands. he put both of them safely locked in his jacket's pockets. he was right. it wasn't fair that she was always number one for him and he wasn't. she knew that deep down, there was a small tiny spark that she could feel when she was around albert. it was confusing. but she knew exactly what it was. she just stood there. watching the boy in front of her crumbling his own heart.
albert was supposed to be steady. he was supposed to be strong, he thought. he was supposed to be the one who didn't show his vunerability. but he did. he was supposed to be steady for god's sake. but he wasn't. and he would never be. it was what loving her did to him. weak. loving her made him weak. weak was the word.
"i'm so-"
"just save it, jes" said albert "i don't know if i can handle this anymore. and i know it's none of your business. i know you don't care"
"would you stop saying that?" said jessica. she looked angry. she was soaked in rage "i do care"
"then why won't you admit it? why won't you show it?" he asked "you know, whatever happens, i'll always be there. i'll try harder. you'll see"
albert walked away with a song in his head. he sang it to her inside his heart.
So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me.
'cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?
And on and on from the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care.
Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know.
That you'll always get your way
I wanted to say,
Don't you Shiver?
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you,
So you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?
And on and on from the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know.
That you'll always get your way
I wanted to say,
Don't you Shiver?
Don't you Shiver?
Sing it loud and clear.
I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you.
For you,
I will always be waiting.
And it's you I see, but you don't see me.
And it's you I hear, so loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear.
And I'll always be waiting for you.
So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me.
albert turned his back to her and walked away. he went to where the guys were at, but he stood a little bit far from them. he needed to be alone. he really needed to be alone. he had done so many thinking, but it wasn't enough. he needed to think more. but what there was to think about? jessica? his feelings? he knew exactly what he felt towards jessica. he loved her. he was in love with her the day they hung out together in his house. god, he loved her. everything about her. he was positively sure that his feelings towards jessica was clear. so what was the problem? that, he didn't know. jessica sat on a bench. feeling tired and guilty. crying a small tear that no one could see.
but jodi saw everything from far away.
icha was standing there beside eka. it killed her. waiting. waiting for what would happen. waiting for something to come. what would? that was killing her insides. she needed to calm down. she wasn't calmed down. errr why was eka so calm? it was killing her even more seeing him standing beside her. steady as a horse, calm as a river. it annoyed her in a way that she couldn't describe. so there she was, staring at him hard. and eka could feel the stare.
"what?" asked eka with a high tone
icha narrowed her eyes even more.
"is there something on my face?" asked eka while rubbing his cheeks "oh, any food that got stuck in my teeth?" he asked again while showing his teeth
narrowed eyes turned narrower.
"icha? hello? are you in a coma?" asked eka
she snapped out of it "err" she said
"ah great. i thought you were dead"
"you're just so.. "
"just so what?" asked eka curiously
"calm. you're just so calm" said icha
"why, thank you"
"that's not a compliment from me, you know"
"oh my, then what is it? an insult?" he asked
"no. i'm just confused. why aren't you as nervous as everyone else?"
"ah that. let me tell you a secret about that" said eka
"please. do tell me" she said
eka came closer to her. he was about to whisper his secret "i am as nervous as a turkey on a thanksgiving"
icha's look turned into a confusion "then wh- "
"wait. i haven't told you my recipe to stay calm" whispered eka
"my ears are all open" said icha
"that is a sign of a true performer" he said "we don't do panic. we do calm. i am calm, for i am a true performer. get it in your head, icha"
"a true performer?" asked icha "what's that all about?"
"i was born to perform" said eka "it's everything that i've ever wanted"
icha smiled. this was the eka she knew. she was more than proud of him. he was a true dreamer and it showed. she loved this eka. the dreamer eka. the performer eka. the star eka. he was a star to her. an inspiration. a motivator. a best friend. she was so grateful that god created eka. it was a blessing. icha smiled while eyeing him.
"what?" he asked again
"nothing. i just like the dreamer you" said icha
eka smiled. oh what would i do without you.
thalia checked her phone. she wanted to call someone before she went to regionals. she walked a little bit away from the madesu club. she was standing beside the school's building. she dialed the numbers, which she rememered clearly, and then called.
"hey" said thalia to the phone "how are you?"
not far away, a girl was watching her. she wore a red coat, a pair of green gloves, rainbow coloured beanie with a huge white ball on top, and a pair of brown boots. her light blonde-almost white hair was hanging loose and fell perfectly just below her shoulders. she eyed thalia with attraction.
"are you coming, baby? are you feeling okay? i really wanted you to come watch me" said thalia to the phone again "really?" she asked to the phone with excitement "promise me, okay? bye"
thalia hung up. she leaned her back to the wall and sighed. aji wasn't feeling really okay. he was sick. but he was fine. all she could think of was him and his cancer. she won't be able to live without him, right? life didn't exist outside of him. it was frustrating. he was her everything. or even anything. she never actually had someone to be there for her before aji. something happened to her that changed her life upside down. aji happened to her. and she loved every single bit of it. she was worried. what if he wasn't okay? what if she couldn't find someone like him? what if she couldn't find someone better because aji was already the best?
stop it, thal.
it wasn't like he was going to leave her that soon. maybe she could save him. maybe she could find cure for cancer. and she could cure him. maybe they weren't just going to be highschool sweethearts. and they would be married in a church somewhere in new york. move in together. have childrens. and live happily ever after. maybe that was going to be the story of her life. maybe. as long as aji was in the picture, she couldn't be happier.
yes. that's it. that's what's going to happen.
thalia smiled.
"you know, if you're trying to believe something so impossible, you're going to get hurt more than if you just believe in reality" said the girl that was eyeing thalia the whole time.
thalia was shocked. she turned her head towards the girl and saw her. she couldn't saw her face because the girl was under the shadow. but her voice sounded... magical?
"who are you?" asked thalia. she was a little bit scared.
"oh. i'm just a person that you don't talk to" said the girl.
"show me your face!" said thalia. she was panicking now.
"don't be scared. i don't bite either" the girl walked slowly.
thalia could see her face now. wow. it was the first word that crossed her mind after seeing that face. it was literally perfect. her big bright purple eyes were weirdly stunning on her perfect porcelain skin. her lips were glossy soft pink. the glossy part was probably because of the lolipop that she was holding on her mouth. this girl was a student in vincentius high. thalia has seen her before, but she never took notice. she was different alright. very different. her look was freaky. but it worked. thalia knew that just then. the girl was somewhat interesting.
"you look like a rainbow" said thalia. wait. what? she wasn't making any sense. she shooked her head "i mean-"
"thanks" said the girl with a smile after she took the lolipop out of her mouth.
"i- um-" thalia was nervous. why was she nervous? this girl got that effect on her.
suddenly, the girl stepped closer to thalia and hugged her "it's okay"
"err wha-" thalia was confused like hell. she wasn't hugging back. this was weird. she barely knew the girl.
the girl hummed while hugging thalia. even though it was weird, thalia felt kind of nice. and it wasn't like hugging a stranger could do any harm to her. she felt nice. like she was safe. protected. sheltered. warm. like someone was there for her. that was all she needed. a hug. a simple hug. she started hugging back and talked to the girl.
"um, no offense, but who are you?" asked thalia.
the girl rested her chin on thalia's shoulder and closed her eyes. she smiled. thalia couldn't see it. but she could feel it "i'm a friend"
"what about your name?" asked thalia again.
"zillin, my best friend" she said.
"oh, so now i'm your best friend? awesome" said thalia with sarcasm.
"yes" said zillin with a smile "it's okay. i'm sorry"
thalia pulled back and eyed the girl with confusion "for what?"
"you don't have much time, you know" said zillin with her magical tone.
"what? what time?" thalia was more confused. what the hell?
"it's okay. everyone dies" said zillin
"everyone dies? what are you talking about?" thalia took a couple of steps backward
"i'm sure you will find someone else. all he wants is for you to be happy"
"what? he who?"
"your lover. don't be scared of death" said zillin
"what? you mean aji?" asked thalia. zillin nodded "no. you're not serious" this girl was creeping the shit out of her.
"it's okay"
thalia was about to walk away. she walked fast to the madesu club "you're a freak" she said before she left.
"you'll know eventually" said zillin. she was so calm. it was freakishly charming.
zillin watched thalia walked away with her head hanging to the left. she took her lolipop to her mouth and walked home. on her way home, she took the picture from her coat. it was a picture of aji. smiling at the camera. but zillin could see something else. a black faceless shadow behind him. she sighed and put the picture back.
he is going to die soon. shame.
yasmine was walking around the school. on the park. yep, vincentius high had a small park. it was beautiful. with the gardens and the pond. it was soothing. calming. the situation she needed to be right now. she walked and walked through the pathway. thinking about everything. mostly regionals. and then alfons. then regionals again. then alfons. and then evodie.
wait.
did she just think about evodie? the evodie? she tried to focus. what did she think about when she remembered evodie? yasmine wasn't the 'over it' type. she wasn't a person that would forget something so easily. she would think about what crossed her mind twice. thrice if necessary. she would sit down and think about it.
so she did. yasmine found a bench in the middle of the park and sat there. her legs were tightly closed. she put both her fists on top of her thighs. her head was hung to the front and her eyes didn't leave her fists. she wrinkled her eyebrows and her mouth pouted. she was thinking. hard.
"think much?" asked a voice that was coming towards her
yasmine was shocked. she lifted her head and looked everywhere until she found evodie walking towards her "oh. it's just you" she said
"who else could it be?" asked evodie while giving her a very sweet smile
yasmine smiled "what are you doing here?"
"just hanging out" he said while sitting next to her "and come looking for you"
"not hanging out with the boys?"
"nope. just you" he said. he was looking straight to the pond
they were quiet for a while. but yasmine could saw the change in evodie's face when he saw the pond
"ring a bell?" she asked
evodie sighed "yep. everytime i see a pond, i got so depressed"
"it's not healthy"
"i know"
"your relationship is not healthy, vod" said yasmine "for you"
"yeah. i just can't get over her" said evodie
"you have to" she said "eventually"
he let out a breath and said "yeah"
yasmine looked at him and held his hand "hey, you have me" she smiled
"thanks" he smiled "you know, i'm confused"
"what is it that you're confused about?"
"my feelings" he said. he wasn't looking at her but her hand was still on his
"what is it now, vod?" asked yasmine "you love her"
"i know. but the thing is.. "
"abraham evodie mancana, are you hiding a secret from me?" she asked with a mother-ish tone
"calm down, mom" he said with a chuckle "but... kind of"
"are you going to tell me?"
"kind of"
"don't 'kind of' me, young man" said yasmine. she smiled
"see, the thing is.. i might.. "
"you might what?"
"um.. "
"what?" asked yasmine. she wasn't patient anymore then
"i might be in love with you" said evodie fast
"oh you might be in love with me" said yasmine without thinking what she said
wait. what?
no.
yasmine shaked her head and looked straight at evodie who was looking at the pond "wait" she said
"yep" said evodie
"so, you're saying that you love me?" asked yasmine
"yeah"
"as in love me as a super talented best friend?" she asked again
she was nervous about the answer. why was she? she didn't want her best friend to be in love with her as in love love her. she had a boyfriend for pete's sake. she waited curiously. they were quiet for about 2 minutes. and it was the longest two minutes of yasmine's life
evodie sighed "yeah. i guess" he forced a smile.
and she saw everything. that unsincere smile. different than the one he used to give her. that twitched eye. he always did that when he lied about anything. his freaking lying face. he was lying. she could tell.
"are you sure?" asked her again
"of course. why not?"
"because... " she wasn't sure what to say "well.. frankly, i was kind of disappointed with the answer and.. i don't know why?"
evodie's eyes opened wide "so, you feel it too?" he eyed her
"well.. i mean, i was thinking about you when i was here alone. that must've meant something, right?" asked yasmine
"i experienced the same thing" he lit up a little "i thought i was thinking about.. her" he couldn't say her name. why couldn't he say chacha's name?
"chacha?" she asked
"yeah" he answered "but then mostly, i was thinking about you. she was just.. something"
"you love her, vod" she sighed
"so?"
"so, you can't love both of us at the same time" said yasmine
"look who's talking" said evodie "you can't love both me and alfons at the same time"
"it's different"
"yeah. you're worse" he teased
"stop it" she punched his arm playfully
"ouch!" he cried "rude!"
"weak!" she shouted
"okay okay" he said rubbing his arm "just, give me more time to figure this out, okay?"
"hmmm.. "
"come on. i'm you're best friend. i won't do anything stupid just to get you" said evodie
"you know i can't trust you on that" said yasmine
"what? why?"
"the fransis insident, remember?" asked yasmine "you used venna to make chacha jealous. that's so amateur"
"oh and you can do better?"
"of course i can" she said
"with what? singing adele to your piano guy?" he teased
"okay, that idea was genius" said yasmine "adele is the most brilliant talent that i much respect in the middle of this.. song crisis in our generation"
"okay, oprah" again, he teased "just give me a little time. i can figure this out"
she stood up from her chair "okay. just.. don't do anything stupid. like, telling anyone about this"
evodie stood up and went face to face with her "trust me, i won't"
"great" said yasmine
and both went back to the parking lot with their mouth zipped.
"okay guys, this is it. the bus is here. come on and get on it" said mr v
the trip by bus was... quiet. yes. it was quite quiet. in fact, it was very quiet. they could all hear their heartbeats mixed up together.
venna, who claimed that she was the leader of the group (somehow), tried to cheer them all up. even though herself was in a critical condition of nervousness.
"come on, guys" she said with an unsteady voice. venna stood up and went to the front part of the bus "we have all worked so.. so hard together. i'm sure.. i'm sure we can... we can do this"
then nothing.
"are you serious?" asked venna
"maybe we are, ms leader" said icha with an eyeroll
"so you're all saying that you're nervous?" asked venna
"and you're saying that you're not?" asked yasmine back
"um-" venna couldn't answer that
"cut it out, ms 'i'm- the- star- of- this- group'. i can feel you trembling from the back of the bus" said naomi
"well, i-"
"you're just making things worse. we usually just tie you up and lock you in a dark bathroom in my country" said jessica "literally"
venna narrowed her eyes. what?
"come on guys" said darrent. he stood up from his seat "she's right. i'm sure we can all do this"
"here comes mr positive" said fransis sarcastically
"rude" whispered venna
"we've all worked so hard for this. we'll do great" said darrent
"okay okay. just shut up and stop trying to do a pep talk" said eka crossing his arms
darrent and venna sat down. they sat next to each other.
"thanks" said venna "for what you did"
"hey, no problem" he smiled
"you're really nice, darrent"
"aw. it's nothing"
"tasya is a lucky girl" venna smiled
"i'm the lucky guy" he said
"yeah.. " venna looked down "of course"
"hey" said darrent. he held her hand "we're gonna do great" he smiled
it was so sweet. he was so sweet. she thought that she could probably be into him. sweet. it was probably her weakness. when a guy acted sweet and nice towards her, she would fall so easily. sadly, she didn't know this weakness of hers. so she just did whatever she thought was good. her being impulsive wasn't helping at all in her love life. but, what could she do about it?
venna smiled "right"
fransis did the bridge. all of them. it meant a lot to him. he could relate to that so easily. but it was hard. it was hard singing that to the girl he loved that didn't take a look at him.
I'm sorry for all I did
What I said and things I hid
I'm finally over me
Is that too late for you
I can't imagine where I'd be
If you had never rescued me
You gave me hope to live
And I need you
Cause I need you
then they did the last chorus together. both of them. hand to hand. not caring about the large amount of crowd in the auditorium. it didn't matter.
And I won't forget you
I don't regret you
The hardest thing I've had to do is live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away
I'm lost without you
Still crazy for you
Just turn around, come back
Because your smile is overdue
And I miss, I miss you
they held hands. and they seperated from that hand holding. it was the saddest thing ever. to not feel her touch anymore. he could easily suffocate. the song stopped. and both of them were on the huge stage. in a long distance. the crowd were clapping. cheering. shouting. the rest of the madesu club appeared slowly and they were ready to do the together number. albert started with a solo.
So many nights trying to hide it
But now I stay awake just pleading for more
To think this heart was divided
I’m losing sleep cause I can’t ignore
venna and darrent broke their voices beautifully into two and sang the next part. they were holding hands. both. in front of everyone from madesu. well, that triggered something because tasya who was in the crowd got her attention taken.
Feeling your touch all around
Peacefully hearing the sound
Of silence around us
I'm so glad we found us this way
jessica and jodi sang the chorus while the others were making peacefull harmonies.
Find me, here in your arms
Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been
Blindly, I came to you
Knowing you’d breathe new life from within
michael and chacha did the next part. michael looked at her. the girl was.. broken. she looked broken. blue. not as bubbly as she used to. he was somehow interested. he cared.
I can’t get enough of you
alfons sang the second verse. he could sing. oh he could. and his voice was mesmerizing. yasmine smiled at him who definitely sang that for her. but it wasn't her yasmine smile. it was her fake yasmine smile. her smile was never fake. but this one suprisingly was.
I want to be where you are
In times of need I just want you to stay
I leave a note on your car
When I can’t find the right words to say
eka did the next part with his angelic voice. it was heavenly great. he literally sounded like an angel. the crowd seemed to love it.
Hearing your voice all around
The last place we’re going is down
I’ll blindly follow knowing you’re leading the way
fransis sang the bridge by himself. he needed this. he needed to show venna how much she meant to him. he stood in front of everyone. he sang it so deep. so in it. he really needed this.
With you in time
There’s nothing else
My life stands still
You are the will that makes me strong
Make me strong
If ever alone in this world I know I’ll always
everyone sang together in the last chorus. it was beautiful. they swayed and swayed perfectly.
Find me, here in your arms
Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been
Blindly, I came to you
Knowing you’d breathe new life from within
You sleep, here in my arms
Where the world just shuts down for awhile
Blindly, you came to me
Finding peace and belief in this smile
Find some peace and belief in this smile
icha did the last part. her voice was rare and beautiful. it was the perfect closure for the song.
I can’t get enough of you
the song ended and the crowd went wild. the members of madesu were smiling. all of them. it felt like their hard works have paid off. it was the most awesome feeling in the world. like someone appreciated their hard works. yep. it felt awesome.
while they were waiting, they were allowed to have a little break. darrent went to the halls between the green room for madesu and dadu where him and tasya wanted to meet up. he walked there. saw her from a distance. he smiled. grinned actually. a very huge grin plastered on his face. he missed her. not being in the same school with her was pure torture. it was too much. he just wanted to be around her all the time. but she wasn't something else to him. to be honest. she was just a girl who he claimed to love at that time. the girl who he claimed keeping his heart. she was just a girl. and he was a stud.
he was a seriously good looking stud. everyone knew him. everyone wanted to hook up with him. literally. even some boys. everyone just wanted to get together with him. he was a stupid stupid sexy stud. with that blonde hair on him, he could take any girl under his sleeve. and he has dated. oh he has dated a lot. for a junior, he had a pretty wild record. he hooked up with many, so many, girl. even some seniors.
but somehow, she met tasya. this girl was probably the longest relationship with a girl that he has ever had. there was just something about her. she was beautiful. smart. funny. cute. to him, she was love.
"what the hell?" asked tasya with an angry tone when they got closer
darrent's grin disappeared "what the hell what?"
"so now you're messing around with that cheerleader?" she asked
"what cheerleader?" he asked back "tasya, what cheerleader? what are you talking about?"
"ugh" she said "i'm so not liking this"
"what is it?" he was really lost
venna walked down the halls and greeted them
"hey guys" she said with a huge smile "hi tasya. nice to see you here"
"speak of the devil" whispered tasya. still crossing her arms
"what?" asked venna. she could hear tasya whispering something. but she couldn't tell what it was
"oh nothing. great to see you here too" said tasya with sarcasm. thank god venna didn't see that
venna smiled wider and turned her attention to darrent "you were so great back there" said venna
"thanks. it's nothing" said darrent while smiling at her "you were awesome"
"oh you" venna giggled. it was like her teaser giggle. ya know. stupid stuff that popular girls used to do when they were teasing a boy
"i'm serious. that was super awesome" said darrent while giving venna's shoulder a squeeze
"okay. well, i guess i'll see you guys around" said venna
thank god. thought tasya
darrent smiled while looking at venna walking away. and his attention went back to tasya "what?" he asked
"i can't believe this" she said while turning away and tried to walk
"wait" said darrent "what did i do wrong this time? huh?"
"i don't know" she said while turning back at him again
"how can you not know? you're the one who's mad at me" he said
"i just don't know, okay"
"okay. so what do you want from me?" he asked "what do you want me to do? help me here"
"help you?" said tasya "help me instead, okay. figure it out on your own. that is what i want from you. think"
"i have thought about it. and i just can't figure you out" said darrent "it's just that.. every little thing upsets you and i just.. i just don't get you. i've thought about it"
"think harder" she said "that's all i'm asking you. i want you to figure me out. i want you to know me, dar"
"i do know you"
"then how come you don't know what to do if i'm upset like this? huh?" she asked
"um- i- "
"you never knew me. you don't know anything about me. it's just.. i don't even know why we're dating" said tasya "i want you to try. try harder. for me"
"i am trying hard. i'm trying my best. why can't you just understand how hard it is for me?" asked darrent
"you're not doing anything" said tasya "i want you to find out who i am by yourself"
"what if i don't want to find out who you are?" he said
silence crept into them. tasya frowned. but she was angry. yes she was. darrent didn't know what he just said. it was stupid. god it was stupid.
"i- " he tried to speak
"fine" she said "then just stop trying. i can't force you"
"tasya i- "
"just... stop trying if you don't want to. thank you for letting me know that" said tasya while turning her back to him. she was about to cry. so she just walked away. slowly. and then faster. and faster. while gripping tight on her cardigan over her dress. she cried
and all he could whisper was "i'm sorry.. " with a sad face
that was it. it was time. for all of them to hear the announcement. 3 groups would pass. and then they would face off in nationals. the tense was obviously clear from every group on that stage. mr firman, who was the host of the show and also the teacher in MAR, went on stage to pronounce the top three groups. his huge belly kind of bugged him to get up on the stage.
but he did anyway.
he stood on the middle of it with a piece of paper on his hand. he cleared his throat onto the mic for a few seconds. and then he started.
"okay. so like you all know, i have the three groups that will continue to nationals written on this piece of paper" said mr firman.
venna was holding thalia's hand so hard. she wanted to win. yes she did. so badly. she wanted to prove everyone that she wasn't just a girl. she was a star. and so did everyone else in madesu club. the pressure was too much. some couldn't handle it. naomi was nervous. she didn't even know why. she wasn't nervous when they were on the bus. but why now? she looked nervous. she acted nervous. she was just nervous. fransis saw that. and the next thing she knew was fransis held her hand and smiled at her.
she used to make fun of him. but frankly, it made her feel a little bit better. so she just returned his smile. it was a sorry smile. a kind of smile that someone would give if they're sorry about something. and in this case, she was sorry for being mean to him. she did.
"so, the first group that will compete in nationals is.. " the drum rolled "night three!" he shouted.
the crowd cheered and night three went jumping and shouting and screaming and hugging each other. well, that was pretty loud.
"the next group is.." this is so nervous making "dadu!"
oh look. tasya's group was in. the same thing went by. the cheering. the hugging. the shouting. the screaming. all that happened. and it came down to the last group that would compete at nationals with many other groups from other regions.
"the last but not least.. " the drum rolled
it was all weird for the madesu club. venna closed her eyes. all she ever wanted to do was winning. she got that lesson from the cheerio. don't let anything gets you away from winning. winning wasn't just winning to venna. to all of them. winning could mean hope. hope that they could accomplish something big and huge. and they would get the credit out of it. they wanted to be appreciated. they've worked so hard to be in the exact position they were then.
hope.
it was all they got. and was all they needed. if they got this thing on their sleeves, that hope would become something big. something promising. something great for all of them. but if things went the other way around, hope would vanish. and nothing could ever cure that vacancies inside their hearts.
that vacancy.
it was an empty space inside them that was killing them slowly. they'd never want that. and the only thing that could fill it was winning. winning was all that it took for all of them. they didn't want life experiences and learning from mistakes. they wanted victory. the sweet smell of victory. frankly, that was all they wanted. the feeling of winning. they haven't felt that for quite a while now.
"what is happening? come on" asked anya from the phone
"sshhh wait. just hear it out. the judge is going to announce the last group" said tasya to the phone
"is it the madesu club? come on tas. you're making me nervous here" said anya
"oh oh listen!" said tasya while directing the phone to the judge so anya could hear clearly from the phone who was the last group
mr firman continued "madesu!"
and it felt like fireworks. the crowd cheered. the madesu club was jumping all over the place. they were shouting and screaming. and to yasmine, the world slowed down. it was all slow motion to her. she was in a deep shock before alfons screamed and hugged her.
"we won! we're in!" cried alfons while looking at her
she couldn't hear what he was saying clearly. all she could hear was her heart beat. it beated fast. and faster. and faster. until she felt like it was going to pop. then she snapped out of it.
"we got in, yas" said alfons
yasmine smiled and she started showing the world how happy she was. she hugged everyone. including evodie. both smiled.
it was all they needed. a boost of confidence.
anya was screaming from the phone til tasya closed her eyes and shoved the phone as far as she could from her.
"i knew we would win!!" shouted anya
"calm yourself woman" said tasya
"but we won!!"
"well.. " said tasya "we won!! all of us!!" tasya shouted
the show was over. the madesu club went to the green room to clean things up. when they were doing that, thalia saw aji on the door. she smiled and excuse herself for a moment. and then she walked at his direction. aji smiled. he missed her. he was wearing his white shirt under his bright red sweater. covered with a grey blazer and matching pants. it was the most adorable thing in the whole world. and all she could say was
"wow"
"how is it that i have the honor of hearing a wow from you, me lady?" he asked with his gentleman tone
"you're all dressed up" she said admiring his choice of attire
he put his arm around her shoulder while walking to the rest of the group "well, let's just say i have a lot of choiceable garments on my wardrobe"
"can't wait to see the rest" she said while snuggling into him and wrapped both of her hands around his waist
"darling, you ain't seen nothing yet" he said with a smile "what's up guys?" asked aji to the group
"we're in" said icha with a huge grin
the rest of the group were cheering "congratulations on that" said aji with a smile "mind if i borrow one of your beautiful women? particularly this one" he said while pointing at his girlfriend
"take all the time you need, brother" said albert with a smile
they laughed. but then aji felt weird. he felt a sudden dizzyness and he couldn't hear anything besides his heart beat. he had no energy to stand up. and so he fell down to the floor. he could see thalia crying. constantly asking if he was okay. but he couldn't respond. he couldn't do anything. his visions was all blurry. all he could remember was albert trying to give him a CPR, yasmine calling 911, eka praying, michael darrent and fransis carrying him, thalia crying. and nothing.
it was all black.
he couldn't see anything. he couldn't remember anything. and the last thing he knew was he woke up in a hospital bed. he could hear the sound of his breath. every breath that he took. he could hear the cardiac monitor that was beside the bed.
beep... beep... beep... beep...
he lifted his left hand and he saw a big needle strapped on it. what he saw next was thalia. laying her head on the bed. sleeping while holding his right hand tightly. she was crying. he could tell. but now, she was sleeping soundly. her brunette hair covered half of her face. aji could also see a few members of the madesu. venna was sleeping on michael's chest on the couch. jessica fell asleep on jodi's lap on the corner of the room. chacha and naomi sleeping next to each other in the couch also. darrent's head on tasya's lap. albert resting his back against the wall. sleeping. they were all still wearing dresses and shirts from regionals. some wore their jackets and cardigans over them to avoid the coldness.
"i'm worried" said yasmine while pulling alfons's jacket that he lend to her a little bit tighter
"i'm sure he'll be fine" said alfons before sipping his coffee
they were on the waiting room. they didn't want to disturb anyone who was sleeping inside that hospital room.
"yeah, i'm sure everything is going to be okay" said fransis with his optimistic face. even though he was lacking of sleep
"we're all here for him" said alfons again
"but still.. " yasmine was full of concern
"come on. i'm sure the doctors will do something to help him. anything" said fransis
yasmine smiled a little "you're right"
"oh, where's icha and eka? they were here an hour ago" said alfons
"they decided to go home. their parents are worried" said yasmine
"it's 2 am in the morning anyways. can't blame them" said fransis
the three of them sat on the waiting room while chatting about some light things.
"ugh where am i?" asked aji when he woke up
thalia woke up instantly "oh my god. you're okay" she said while hugging him so tight
"where am i thal?"
"you're at the hospital. you fainted and we don't know what to do. i almost thought i'd lose you" she said. she wiped a small stray of tear
"hey, don't cry" said aji while caressing her face
"how could i not cry? you're dying back then" she said while holding his hand on her face
aji couldn't say anything. this girl really loved him. he could saw the deep sorrow from her brown eyes. it killed him for he was the cause of her sadness.
"i can't.. lose you" said thalia. she was about to cry. but she tried hard not to wake the others up
"i'm okay. see" said aji
"you're okay? you have all these things glued on you and you're okay?" she asked "you're not okay. and i can't stand seeing you like this"
he didn't know what to say.
"just.. please. get well soon. i need you to rest, okay. be better" she said
"okay" was all he could say before drowning back to sleep
I'M JUST GONNA END THIS HERE. *SIGH*. i wrote a very long chapter, guys. a really long one. trust me. it's way longer than this, but i'm just gonna put that in chapter 22. okay, so. the songs aren't really many whatsoever. but this chapter is a fun to write.EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK SO LONG GOD DAMNIT. HAHAH i really love zilin in this chapter. a weird girl. and yes, i was inspired by that weird girl on antm ._. i don't remember her name though. you know. all star and shit. AJI IS SICK OH NO!! he's so cute. AND ABOUT TO DIE MUAHAHAHA. what? evodie is into yasmine? lame!! but whatever. i got some things in my head. and i don't really know what this chapter is about. SO RANDOM BECAUSE I'M AWESOMELY RANDOM.
so, the songs are shiver- coldplay, the hardest thing- tyler ward, find me- boyce avenue AND THAT IS PRETTY MUCH IT. BYE! oh by the way, i'm working on chapter 22 now!! HELL YES.
that day was the day that could change their lives forever. there they were. every single one of the madesu club members in the parking lot. they were waiting their bus for the trip to regionals.
"okay guys, this is it. we have to give it all up here. all we have to do is to stay as calm as possible" said mr v. he saw the tension within all of them.
fransis couldn't stand still with his feet, venna was sitting on the bench just one meter away from him, feeling nervous. it showed from her gesture, she continuously rubbed her palms. it wasn't just because the air was freezing. michael was walking everywhere. here, there, here, there, here again, there again, and again, and then again. he fixed his glasses clumsily. come on michael, you can do this, you little punk. was all he thought about.
naomi was leaning her behind against someone's car. she didn't know and she didn't seem to care. she crossed her arms because of the coldness of the air. she wasn't really nervous about regionals. all she could think of was no one was there to warm her up. not michael nor chacha. she sighed plenty of times in regret. on the other hand, chacha was nervous as hell. she was sitting on the sidewalk. trying to remember the lyrics for the song that they would perform in that stage. lyrics weren't really her thing. but she definitely wasn't nervous about making herself trip when she would dance through the song. she would never trip. no way. she was riches freaking malchiella. no way she would trip on a stage when she was doing one of her favourite activities. dancing. she would just nail it. like she always did.
jessica was playing with her hat. it was a dark blue beanie with bouncy little purple balls hanging off each side. her mom kind of made it for her. a handmade hat from a mother was the worst thing that could happen in a high schooler's life. well except if you are one of the brady's. she would never, ever, ever wear that hat in any chance possible. that thought swayed through her head when albert walked towards her.
"hey" said albert
"hi" jessica replied
"how's it hanging?"
"not so good. i thought i would be like prepared for this, but i'm not ready at all. the thought of thousands of people watching me to perform on the stage is.... cruciating" said jessica
albert put his hand on her shoulder and said "hey, you're gonna do just fine" he smiled. then he looked at the blue thingy on her hand "what do you have there?"
jessica looked at her hat and sighed "oh, this thing?" she pointed it out to him and he simply nodded "oh it's just a stupid thing my mom has made for me. it's kind of like a hat... sort of... i guess. i mean, when my mom gave it to me this morning, my spirit just dropped in an instant"
"let me see it" said albert
"here" said jessica while handing the hat
he shooked his head "let me see it on you"
"are you being serious?"
"are you?" he said "come on. putting on a hat from your mother won't hurt anyone"
"well it could hurt you. it could like, make you vomit or something" said jessica
"oh please. everything looks perfect on you" said albert with a sincere smile. she could saw it clearly. it was heavenly, warming, and charming. she tried not to think about those things. remember jodi, remember him.
she sighed once more and finally she put it on her head. it looked cute on her "there. you see? i look like a dwarf"
he smiled at her. this time it was sweet and calming. it made her feel safe. like as if that smile could give her the protection from everything "i've seen worse" he said
she let out a shy smile but didn't say a thing. albert walked closer. and closer. and closer. a little bit closer. and there he was. only inches away from her. not taking his eyes off of her redden face.
"you are beautiful, jessica ravenski" said albert
she chuckled a little.
"what?" he asked
"you look so weird. like heavenly weird" said jessica
"how weird?"
"like you're in the clouds"
"you mean like i'm drunk or something like that?" he asked
"exactly" she said
"well maybe i'm drunk of your perfectness"
"the word perfect doesn't exist, bert" said jessica
"well it does in my world. and it could only describe one thing- no, one person" said albert "could you guess?"
"hmmm who could that be?" she pretended. she put her finger on her chin "i have no idea"
"i know you know. and you know it's true"
"what is?"
"that you're perfect to me. and will always be" he said
jessica blushed. how could he make her feel this way. this is wrong. she had a boyfriend. jessica, snap out of it.
but she didn't. she was at the clouds now. with albert, to be precise.
"we can't" said jessica
"we can. you know you have feelings for me"
"i know"
"there you go" said albert. he swept a stray of hair from jessica's face "nothing else matters right now, jes"
he moved his head closer to hers.
oh god.
god no.
this wasn't going to happen, was it?
jessica closed her eyes. waiting for something to happen.
something must happen, right?
oh god.
the excitement.
god she loved it. she loved it good.
she could hear her heart beated so hard that she was afraid he could hear it too.
the sensation was insane. she waited and waited and waited until she could feel a warm breath on her face. albert's breath. it was so warm. so peaceful. so pretecting. she wanted that. she wanted him.
wait, what?
no. oh god no. this wasn't happening.
jessica opened her eyes and was shocked. albert was just inches away from her.
"no, bert. we can't. i just told you we can't" said jessica
"yes, we can" said albert
"you can't force me to do something like that"
"but you like it"
"i admit, i do. but it's not that simple. and the fact that i like it doesn't mean that i want to. you know i have my own choices. why can't you respect them? why can't you just accept that i chose jodi?" she said
"what?" asked albert with a narrowed eyes "so you think i'm a choice? you think that this is some sort of a game? i'm not a furniture, jes. you can't just choose one of us and let the other washed away. i can't accept that" said albert
"but still, it's my decision. i had to choose. and i've chosen jodi as my boyfriend"
"so what does that make me? your second choice?" asked albert with an unbelieveable look
"well, i- "
"do you even know how i feel? what it makes me feel? i'm not a stone, you know. i have feelings too. and you can't just do that. it's just wrong. do you know how it feels to be your number two when you are always my number one?"
jessica didn't respond. she couldn't respond. say something. anything.
"well you know what? i'm sick and tired of always being number two on your list. it's just... " he looked at the floor with a sad look on his face. he was frustrated. she could see it. she felt guilty. but was it her fault? no one knew "it's just not fair"
she put her eyes on his face. it was grey. greyer than a grey face should be. then to his hands. he put both of them safely locked in his jacket's pockets. he was right. it wasn't fair that she was always number one for him and he wasn't. she knew that deep down, there was a small tiny spark that she could feel when she was around albert. it was confusing. but she knew exactly what it was. she just stood there. watching the boy in front of her crumbling his own heart.
albert was supposed to be steady. he was supposed to be strong, he thought. he was supposed to be the one who didn't show his vunerability. but he did. he was supposed to be steady for god's sake. but he wasn't. and he would never be. it was what loving her did to him. weak. loving her made him weak. weak was the word.
"i'm so-"
"just save it, jes" said albert "i don't know if i can handle this anymore. and i know it's none of your business. i know you don't care"
"would you stop saying that?" said jessica. she looked angry. she was soaked in rage "i do care"
"then why won't you admit it? why won't you show it?" he asked "you know, whatever happens, i'll always be there. i'll try harder. you'll see"
albert walked away with a song in his head. he sang it to her inside his heart.
So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me.
'cause you say you see straight through me, don't you?
And on and on from the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care.
Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know.
That you'll always get your way
I wanted to say,
Don't you Shiver?
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you,
So you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?
And on and on from the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Did you want me to change?
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know.
That you'll always get your way
I wanted to say,
Don't you Shiver?
Don't you Shiver?
Sing it loud and clear.
I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you.
For you,
I will always be waiting.
And it's you I see, but you don't see me.
And it's you I hear, so loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear.
And I'll always be waiting for you.
So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me.
albert turned his back to her and walked away. he went to where the guys were at, but he stood a little bit far from them. he needed to be alone. he really needed to be alone. he had done so many thinking, but it wasn't enough. he needed to think more. but what there was to think about? jessica? his feelings? he knew exactly what he felt towards jessica. he loved her. he was in love with her the day they hung out together in his house. god, he loved her. everything about her. he was positively sure that his feelings towards jessica was clear. so what was the problem? that, he didn't know. jessica sat on a bench. feeling tired and guilty. crying a small tear that no one could see.
but jodi saw everything from far away.
icha was standing there beside eka. it killed her. waiting. waiting for what would happen. waiting for something to come. what would? that was killing her insides. she needed to calm down. she wasn't calmed down. errr why was eka so calm? it was killing her even more seeing him standing beside her. steady as a horse, calm as a river. it annoyed her in a way that she couldn't describe. so there she was, staring at him hard. and eka could feel the stare.
"what?" asked eka with a high tone
icha narrowed her eyes even more.
"is there something on my face?" asked eka while rubbing his cheeks "oh, any food that got stuck in my teeth?" he asked again while showing his teeth
narrowed eyes turned narrower.
"icha? hello? are you in a coma?" asked eka
she snapped out of it "err" she said
"ah great. i thought you were dead"
"you're just so.. "
"just so what?" asked eka curiously
"calm. you're just so calm" said icha
"why, thank you"
"that's not a compliment from me, you know"
"oh my, then what is it? an insult?" he asked
"no. i'm just confused. why aren't you as nervous as everyone else?"
"ah that. let me tell you a secret about that" said eka
"please. do tell me" she said
eka came closer to her. he was about to whisper his secret "i am as nervous as a turkey on a thanksgiving"
icha's look turned into a confusion "then wh- "
"wait. i haven't told you my recipe to stay calm" whispered eka
"my ears are all open" said icha
"that is a sign of a true performer" he said "we don't do panic. we do calm. i am calm, for i am a true performer. get it in your head, icha"
"a true performer?" asked icha "what's that all about?"
"i was born to perform" said eka "it's everything that i've ever wanted"
icha smiled. this was the eka she knew. she was more than proud of him. he was a true dreamer and it showed. she loved this eka. the dreamer eka. the performer eka. the star eka. he was a star to her. an inspiration. a motivator. a best friend. she was so grateful that god created eka. it was a blessing. icha smiled while eyeing him.
"what?" he asked again
"nothing. i just like the dreamer you" said icha
eka smiled. oh what would i do without you.
thalia checked her phone. she wanted to call someone before she went to regionals. she walked a little bit away from the madesu club. she was standing beside the school's building. she dialed the numbers, which she rememered clearly, and then called.
"hey" said thalia to the phone "how are you?"
not far away, a girl was watching her. she wore a red coat, a pair of green gloves, rainbow coloured beanie with a huge white ball on top, and a pair of brown boots. her light blonde-almost white hair was hanging loose and fell perfectly just below her shoulders. she eyed thalia with attraction.
"are you coming, baby? are you feeling okay? i really wanted you to come watch me" said thalia to the phone again "really?" she asked to the phone with excitement "promise me, okay? bye"
thalia hung up. she leaned her back to the wall and sighed. aji wasn't feeling really okay. he was sick. but he was fine. all she could think of was him and his cancer. she won't be able to live without him, right? life didn't exist outside of him. it was frustrating. he was her everything. or even anything. she never actually had someone to be there for her before aji. something happened to her that changed her life upside down. aji happened to her. and she loved every single bit of it. she was worried. what if he wasn't okay? what if she couldn't find someone like him? what if she couldn't find someone better because aji was already the best?
stop it, thal.
it wasn't like he was going to leave her that soon. maybe she could save him. maybe she could find cure for cancer. and she could cure him. maybe they weren't just going to be highschool sweethearts. and they would be married in a church somewhere in new york. move in together. have childrens. and live happily ever after. maybe that was going to be the story of her life. maybe. as long as aji was in the picture, she couldn't be happier.
yes. that's it. that's what's going to happen.
thalia smiled.
"you know, if you're trying to believe something so impossible, you're going to get hurt more than if you just believe in reality" said the girl that was eyeing thalia the whole time.
thalia was shocked. she turned her head towards the girl and saw her. she couldn't saw her face because the girl was under the shadow. but her voice sounded... magical?
"who are you?" asked thalia. she was a little bit scared.
"oh. i'm just a person that you don't talk to" said the girl.
"show me your face!" said thalia. she was panicking now.
"don't be scared. i don't bite either" the girl walked slowly.
thalia could see her face now. wow. it was the first word that crossed her mind after seeing that face. it was literally perfect. her big bright purple eyes were weirdly stunning on her perfect porcelain skin. her lips were glossy soft pink. the glossy part was probably because of the lolipop that she was holding on her mouth. this girl was a student in vincentius high. thalia has seen her before, but she never took notice. she was different alright. very different. her look was freaky. but it worked. thalia knew that just then. the girl was somewhat interesting.
"you look like a rainbow" said thalia. wait. what? she wasn't making any sense. she shooked her head "i mean-"
"thanks" said the girl with a smile after she took the lolipop out of her mouth.
"i- um-" thalia was nervous. why was she nervous? this girl got that effect on her.
suddenly, the girl stepped closer to thalia and hugged her "it's okay"
"err wha-" thalia was confused like hell. she wasn't hugging back. this was weird. she barely knew the girl.
the girl hummed while hugging thalia. even though it was weird, thalia felt kind of nice. and it wasn't like hugging a stranger could do any harm to her. she felt nice. like she was safe. protected. sheltered. warm. like someone was there for her. that was all she needed. a hug. a simple hug. she started hugging back and talked to the girl.
"um, no offense, but who are you?" asked thalia.
the girl rested her chin on thalia's shoulder and closed her eyes. she smiled. thalia couldn't see it. but she could feel it "i'm a friend"
"what about your name?" asked thalia again.
"zillin, my best friend" she said.
"oh, so now i'm your best friend? awesome" said thalia with sarcasm.
"yes" said zillin with a smile "it's okay. i'm sorry"
thalia pulled back and eyed the girl with confusion "for what?"
"you don't have much time, you know" said zillin with her magical tone.
"what? what time?" thalia was more confused. what the hell?
"it's okay. everyone dies" said zillin
"everyone dies? what are you talking about?" thalia took a couple of steps backward
"i'm sure you will find someone else. all he wants is for you to be happy"
"what? he who?"
"your lover. don't be scared of death" said zillin
"what? you mean aji?" asked thalia. zillin nodded "no. you're not serious" this girl was creeping the shit out of her.
"it's okay"
thalia was about to walk away. she walked fast to the madesu club "you're a freak" she said before she left.
"you'll know eventually" said zillin. she was so calm. it was freakishly charming.
zillin watched thalia walked away with her head hanging to the left. she took her lolipop to her mouth and walked home. on her way home, she took the picture from her coat. it was a picture of aji. smiling at the camera. but zillin could see something else. a black faceless shadow behind him. she sighed and put the picture back.
he is going to die soon. shame.
yasmine was walking around the school. on the park. yep, vincentius high had a small park. it was beautiful. with the gardens and the pond. it was soothing. calming. the situation she needed to be right now. she walked and walked through the pathway. thinking about everything. mostly regionals. and then alfons. then regionals again. then alfons. and then evodie.
wait.
did she just think about evodie? the evodie? she tried to focus. what did she think about when she remembered evodie? yasmine wasn't the 'over it' type. she wasn't a person that would forget something so easily. she would think about what crossed her mind twice. thrice if necessary. she would sit down and think about it.
so she did. yasmine found a bench in the middle of the park and sat there. her legs were tightly closed. she put both her fists on top of her thighs. her head was hung to the front and her eyes didn't leave her fists. she wrinkled her eyebrows and her mouth pouted. she was thinking. hard.
"think much?" asked a voice that was coming towards her
yasmine was shocked. she lifted her head and looked everywhere until she found evodie walking towards her "oh. it's just you" she said
"who else could it be?" asked evodie while giving her a very sweet smile
yasmine smiled "what are you doing here?"
"just hanging out" he said while sitting next to her "and come looking for you"
"not hanging out with the boys?"
"nope. just you" he said. he was looking straight to the pond
they were quiet for a while. but yasmine could saw the change in evodie's face when he saw the pond
"ring a bell?" she asked
evodie sighed "yep. everytime i see a pond, i got so depressed"
"it's not healthy"
"i know"
"your relationship is not healthy, vod" said yasmine "for you"
"yeah. i just can't get over her" said evodie
"you have to" she said "eventually"
he let out a breath and said "yeah"
yasmine looked at him and held his hand "hey, you have me" she smiled
"thanks" he smiled "you know, i'm confused"
"what is it that you're confused about?"
"my feelings" he said. he wasn't looking at her but her hand was still on his
"what is it now, vod?" asked yasmine "you love her"
"i know. but the thing is.. "
"abraham evodie mancana, are you hiding a secret from me?" she asked with a mother-ish tone
"calm down, mom" he said with a chuckle "but... kind of"
"are you going to tell me?"
"kind of"
"don't 'kind of' me, young man" said yasmine. she smiled
"see, the thing is.. i might.. "
"you might what?"
"um.. "
"what?" asked yasmine. she wasn't patient anymore then
"i might be in love with you" said evodie fast
"oh you might be in love with me" said yasmine without thinking what she said
wait. what?
no.
yasmine shaked her head and looked straight at evodie who was looking at the pond "wait" she said
"yep" said evodie
"so, you're saying that you love me?" asked yasmine
"yeah"
"as in love me as a super talented best friend?" she asked again
she was nervous about the answer. why was she? she didn't want her best friend to be in love with her as in love love her. she had a boyfriend for pete's sake. she waited curiously. they were quiet for about 2 minutes. and it was the longest two minutes of yasmine's life
evodie sighed "yeah. i guess" he forced a smile.
and she saw everything. that unsincere smile. different than the one he used to give her. that twitched eye. he always did that when he lied about anything. his freaking lying face. he was lying. she could tell.
"are you sure?" asked her again
"of course. why not?"
"because... " she wasn't sure what to say "well.. frankly, i was kind of disappointed with the answer and.. i don't know why?"
evodie's eyes opened wide "so, you feel it too?" he eyed her
"well.. i mean, i was thinking about you when i was here alone. that must've meant something, right?" asked yasmine
"i experienced the same thing" he lit up a little "i thought i was thinking about.. her" he couldn't say her name. why couldn't he say chacha's name?
"chacha?" she asked
"yeah" he answered "but then mostly, i was thinking about you. she was just.. something"
"you love her, vod" she sighed
"so?"
"so, you can't love both of us at the same time" said yasmine
"look who's talking" said evodie "you can't love both me and alfons at the same time"
"it's different"
"yeah. you're worse" he teased
"stop it" she punched his arm playfully
"ouch!" he cried "rude!"
"weak!" she shouted
"okay okay" he said rubbing his arm "just, give me more time to figure this out, okay?"
"hmmm.. "
"come on. i'm you're best friend. i won't do anything stupid just to get you" said evodie
"you know i can't trust you on that" said yasmine
"what? why?"
"the fransis insident, remember?" asked yasmine "you used venna to make chacha jealous. that's so amateur"
"oh and you can do better?"
"of course i can" she said
"with what? singing adele to your piano guy?" he teased
"okay, that idea was genius" said yasmine "adele is the most brilliant talent that i much respect in the middle of this.. song crisis in our generation"
"okay, oprah" again, he teased "just give me a little time. i can figure this out"
she stood up from her chair "okay. just.. don't do anything stupid. like, telling anyone about this"
evodie stood up and went face to face with her "trust me, i won't"
"great" said yasmine
and both went back to the parking lot with their mouth zipped.
"okay guys, this is it. the bus is here. come on and get on it" said mr v
the trip by bus was... quiet. yes. it was quite quiet. in fact, it was very quiet. they could all hear their heartbeats mixed up together.
venna, who claimed that she was the leader of the group (somehow), tried to cheer them all up. even though herself was in a critical condition of nervousness.
"come on, guys" she said with an unsteady voice. venna stood up and went to the front part of the bus "we have all worked so.. so hard together. i'm sure.. i'm sure we can... we can do this"
then nothing.
"are you serious?" asked venna
"maybe we are, ms leader" said icha with an eyeroll
"so you're all saying that you're nervous?" asked venna
"and you're saying that you're not?" asked yasmine back
"um-" venna couldn't answer that
"cut it out, ms 'i'm- the- star- of- this- group'. i can feel you trembling from the back of the bus" said naomi
"well, i-"
"you're just making things worse. we usually just tie you up and lock you in a dark bathroom in my country" said jessica "literally"
venna narrowed her eyes. what?
"come on guys" said darrent. he stood up from his seat "she's right. i'm sure we can all do this"
"here comes mr positive" said fransis sarcastically
"rude" whispered venna
"we've all worked so hard for this. we'll do great" said darrent
"okay okay. just shut up and stop trying to do a pep talk" said eka crossing his arms
darrent and venna sat down. they sat next to each other.
"thanks" said venna "for what you did"
"hey, no problem" he smiled
"you're really nice, darrent"
"aw. it's nothing"
"tasya is a lucky girl" venna smiled
"i'm the lucky guy" he said
"yeah.. " venna looked down "of course"
"hey" said darrent. he held her hand "we're gonna do great" he smiled
it was so sweet. he was so sweet. she thought that she could probably be into him. sweet. it was probably her weakness. when a guy acted sweet and nice towards her, she would fall so easily. sadly, she didn't know this weakness of hers. so she just did whatever she thought was good. her being impulsive wasn't helping at all in her love life. but, what could she do about it?
venna smiled "right"
they finally arrived to their destination. they held regionals in MAR (Making Art Right) highschool. it was tasya's school. since dadu also passed through sectionals, they could be the host in the competition. their auditorium was a little bigger than vincentius's. it made madesu felt much worse. they went to the green room together and changed to their costumes. it was the usuals. the girls were wearing dresses, the boys were wearing tuxes. white ones. they were going to perfom 2 shows. a duet. and a number together. they got the last number to perform. the other schools were great. so great. madesu was nervous. yep.
but finally, it was time.
"break a leg" said fransis to venna
"you too" she said
they were behind the curtain. but slowly, it opened. reaveled both of them who started walking to the stage. the music started. and venna began singing.
A still framed photograph of you and me together
Is all I have of me and you anymore
We were so in love and we thought it'd last forever
But in the storm, we were torn
fransis joined her into the chorus
And I won't forget you
I don't regret you
The hardest thing I've had to do is live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away
I'm lost without you
Still crazy for you
Just turn around, come back
Because your smile is overdue
And I miss, I miss you
fransis wasn't taking his eyes off of her. he felt the song. boy he felt it deep. he wasn't over her. not yet. but why? he would do anything to have her back. simply anything. he was a jerk. and he almost thought that he deserved this. but he didn't want to have that perspective. what he believed in was, he loved her. and nothing else mattered. he started the second verse by his own.
If I only knew the words to say
That'd make you turn around
I would say those words to you
More than a million times
It has been forever but that hasn't changed
What you mean to me
fransis took venna's hand and held it to his heart. both were looking at each other. their love story wasn't what they expected. it was way much worse. they didn't want to end up this way. but apparently, they did. and it hurt. it hurt so bad. she knew that she still had pieces of her heart in him. and she also had a lot of his heart in her. venna threw her face away from him just so she wouldn't see his ex boyfriend torturing himself. because deep down, she still cared.
Darling can't you see
fransis did the bridge. all of them. it meant a lot to him. he could relate to that so easily. but it was hard. it was hard singing that to the girl he loved that didn't take a look at him.
I'm sorry for all I did
What I said and things I hid
I'm finally over me
Is that too late for you
I can't imagine where I'd be
If you had never rescued me
You gave me hope to live
And I need you
Cause I need you
then they did the last chorus together. both of them. hand to hand. not caring about the large amount of crowd in the auditorium. it didn't matter.
And I won't forget you
I don't regret you
The hardest thing I've had to do is live without you
And I wonder why we both walked away
I'm lost without you
Still crazy for you
Just turn around, come back
Because your smile is overdue
And I miss, I miss you
they held hands. and they seperated from that hand holding. it was the saddest thing ever. to not feel her touch anymore. he could easily suffocate. the song stopped. and both of them were on the huge stage. in a long distance. the crowd were clapping. cheering. shouting. the rest of the madesu club appeared slowly and they were ready to do the together number. albert started with a solo.
So many nights trying to hide it
But now I stay awake just pleading for more
To think this heart was divided
I’m losing sleep cause I can’t ignore
venna and darrent broke their voices beautifully into two and sang the next part. they were holding hands. both. in front of everyone from madesu. well, that triggered something because tasya who was in the crowd got her attention taken.
Feeling your touch all around
Peacefully hearing the sound
Of silence around us
I'm so glad we found us this way
jessica and jodi sang the chorus while the others were making peacefull harmonies.
Find me, here in your arms
Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been
Blindly, I came to you
Knowing you’d breathe new life from within
michael and chacha did the next part. michael looked at her. the girl was.. broken. she looked broken. blue. not as bubbly as she used to. he was somehow interested. he cared.
I can’t get enough of you
alfons sang the second verse. he could sing. oh he could. and his voice was mesmerizing. yasmine smiled at him who definitely sang that for her. but it wasn't her yasmine smile. it was her fake yasmine smile. her smile was never fake. but this one suprisingly was.
I want to be where you are
In times of need I just want you to stay
I leave a note on your car
When I can’t find the right words to say
eka did the next part with his angelic voice. it was heavenly great. he literally sounded like an angel. the crowd seemed to love it.
Hearing your voice all around
The last place we’re going is down
I’ll blindly follow knowing you’re leading the way
fransis sang the bridge by himself. he needed this. he needed to show venna how much she meant to him. he stood in front of everyone. he sang it so deep. so in it. he really needed this.
With you in time
There’s nothing else
My life stands still
You are the will that makes me strong
Make me strong
If ever alone in this world I know I’ll always
everyone sang together in the last chorus. it was beautiful. they swayed and swayed perfectly.
Find me, here in your arms
Now I’m wondering where you’ve always been
Blindly, I came to you
Knowing you’d breathe new life from within
You sleep, here in my arms
Where the world just shuts down for awhile
Blindly, you came to me
Finding peace and belief in this smile
Find some peace and belief in this smile
icha did the last part. her voice was rare and beautiful. it was the perfect closure for the song.
I can’t get enough of you
the song ended and the crowd went wild. the members of madesu were smiling. all of them. it felt like their hard works have paid off. it was the most awesome feeling in the world. like someone appreciated their hard works. yep. it felt awesome.
while they were waiting, they were allowed to have a little break. darrent went to the halls between the green room for madesu and dadu where him and tasya wanted to meet up. he walked there. saw her from a distance. he smiled. grinned actually. a very huge grin plastered on his face. he missed her. not being in the same school with her was pure torture. it was too much. he just wanted to be around her all the time. but she wasn't something else to him. to be honest. she was just a girl who he claimed to love at that time. the girl who he claimed keeping his heart. she was just a girl. and he was a stud.
he was a seriously good looking stud. everyone knew him. everyone wanted to hook up with him. literally. even some boys. everyone just wanted to get together with him. he was a stupid stupid sexy stud. with that blonde hair on him, he could take any girl under his sleeve. and he has dated. oh he has dated a lot. for a junior, he had a pretty wild record. he hooked up with many, so many, girl. even some seniors.
but somehow, she met tasya. this girl was probably the longest relationship with a girl that he has ever had. there was just something about her. she was beautiful. smart. funny. cute. to him, she was love.
"what the hell?" asked tasya with an angry tone when they got closer
darrent's grin disappeared "what the hell what?"
"so now you're messing around with that cheerleader?" she asked
"what cheerleader?" he asked back "tasya, what cheerleader? what are you talking about?"
"ugh" she said "i'm so not liking this"
"what is it?" he was really lost
venna walked down the halls and greeted them
"hey guys" she said with a huge smile "hi tasya. nice to see you here"
"speak of the devil" whispered tasya. still crossing her arms
"what?" asked venna. she could hear tasya whispering something. but she couldn't tell what it was
"oh nothing. great to see you here too" said tasya with sarcasm. thank god venna didn't see that
venna smiled wider and turned her attention to darrent "you were so great back there" said venna
"thanks. it's nothing" said darrent while smiling at her "you were awesome"
"oh you" venna giggled. it was like her teaser giggle. ya know. stupid stuff that popular girls used to do when they were teasing a boy
"i'm serious. that was super awesome" said darrent while giving venna's shoulder a squeeze
"okay. well, i guess i'll see you guys around" said venna
thank god. thought tasya
darrent smiled while looking at venna walking away. and his attention went back to tasya "what?" he asked
"i can't believe this" she said while turning away and tried to walk
"wait" said darrent "what did i do wrong this time? huh?"
"i don't know" she said while turning back at him again
"how can you not know? you're the one who's mad at me" he said
"i just don't know, okay"
"okay. so what do you want from me?" he asked "what do you want me to do? help me here"
"help you?" said tasya "help me instead, okay. figure it out on your own. that is what i want from you. think"
"i have thought about it. and i just can't figure you out" said darrent "it's just that.. every little thing upsets you and i just.. i just don't get you. i've thought about it"
"think harder" she said "that's all i'm asking you. i want you to figure me out. i want you to know me, dar"
"i do know you"
"then how come you don't know what to do if i'm upset like this? huh?" she asked
"um- i- "
"you never knew me. you don't know anything about me. it's just.. i don't even know why we're dating" said tasya "i want you to try. try harder. for me"
"i am trying hard. i'm trying my best. why can't you just understand how hard it is for me?" asked darrent
"you're not doing anything" said tasya "i want you to find out who i am by yourself"
"what if i don't want to find out who you are?" he said
silence crept into them. tasya frowned. but she was angry. yes she was. darrent didn't know what he just said. it was stupid. god it was stupid.
"i- " he tried to speak
"fine" she said "then just stop trying. i can't force you"
"tasya i- "
"just... stop trying if you don't want to. thank you for letting me know that" said tasya while turning her back to him. she was about to cry. so she just walked away. slowly. and then faster. and faster. while gripping tight on her cardigan over her dress. she cried
and all he could whisper was "i'm sorry.. " with a sad face
that was it. it was time. for all of them to hear the announcement. 3 groups would pass. and then they would face off in nationals. the tense was obviously clear from every group on that stage. mr firman, who was the host of the show and also the teacher in MAR, went on stage to pronounce the top three groups. his huge belly kind of bugged him to get up on the stage.
but he did anyway.
he stood on the middle of it with a piece of paper on his hand. he cleared his throat onto the mic for a few seconds. and then he started.
"okay. so like you all know, i have the three groups that will continue to nationals written on this piece of paper" said mr firman.
venna was holding thalia's hand so hard. she wanted to win. yes she did. so badly. she wanted to prove everyone that she wasn't just a girl. she was a star. and so did everyone else in madesu club. the pressure was too much. some couldn't handle it. naomi was nervous. she didn't even know why. she wasn't nervous when they were on the bus. but why now? she looked nervous. she acted nervous. she was just nervous. fransis saw that. and the next thing she knew was fransis held her hand and smiled at her.
she used to make fun of him. but frankly, it made her feel a little bit better. so she just returned his smile. it was a sorry smile. a kind of smile that someone would give if they're sorry about something. and in this case, she was sorry for being mean to him. she did.
"so, the first group that will compete in nationals is.. " the drum rolled "night three!" he shouted.
the crowd cheered and night three went jumping and shouting and screaming and hugging each other. well, that was pretty loud.
"the next group is.." this is so nervous making "dadu!"
oh look. tasya's group was in. the same thing went by. the cheering. the hugging. the shouting. the screaming. all that happened. and it came down to the last group that would compete at nationals with many other groups from other regions.
"the last but not least.. " the drum rolled
it was all weird for the madesu club. venna closed her eyes. all she ever wanted to do was winning. she got that lesson from the cheerio. don't let anything gets you away from winning. winning wasn't just winning to venna. to all of them. winning could mean hope. hope that they could accomplish something big and huge. and they would get the credit out of it. they wanted to be appreciated. they've worked so hard to be in the exact position they were then.
hope.
it was all they got. and was all they needed. if they got this thing on their sleeves, that hope would become something big. something promising. something great for all of them. but if things went the other way around, hope would vanish. and nothing could ever cure that vacancies inside their hearts.
that vacancy.
it was an empty space inside them that was killing them slowly. they'd never want that. and the only thing that could fill it was winning. winning was all that it took for all of them. they didn't want life experiences and learning from mistakes. they wanted victory. the sweet smell of victory. frankly, that was all they wanted. the feeling of winning. they haven't felt that for quite a while now.
"what is happening? come on" asked anya from the phone
"sshhh wait. just hear it out. the judge is going to announce the last group" said tasya to the phone
"is it the madesu club? come on tas. you're making me nervous here" said anya
"oh oh listen!" said tasya while directing the phone to the judge so anya could hear clearly from the phone who was the last group
mr firman continued "madesu!"
and it felt like fireworks. the crowd cheered. the madesu club was jumping all over the place. they were shouting and screaming. and to yasmine, the world slowed down. it was all slow motion to her. she was in a deep shock before alfons screamed and hugged her.
"we won! we're in!" cried alfons while looking at her
she couldn't hear what he was saying clearly. all she could hear was her heart beat. it beated fast. and faster. and faster. until she felt like it was going to pop. then she snapped out of it.
"we got in, yas" said alfons
yasmine smiled and she started showing the world how happy she was. she hugged everyone. including evodie. both smiled.
it was all they needed. a boost of confidence.
anya was screaming from the phone til tasya closed her eyes and shoved the phone as far as she could from her.
"i knew we would win!!" shouted anya
"calm yourself woman" said tasya
"but we won!!"
"well.. " said tasya "we won!! all of us!!" tasya shouted
the show was over. the madesu club went to the green room to clean things up. when they were doing that, thalia saw aji on the door. she smiled and excuse herself for a moment. and then she walked at his direction. aji smiled. he missed her. he was wearing his white shirt under his bright red sweater. covered with a grey blazer and matching pants. it was the most adorable thing in the whole world. and all she could say was
"wow"
"how is it that i have the honor of hearing a wow from you, me lady?" he asked with his gentleman tone
"you're all dressed up" she said admiring his choice of attire
he put his arm around her shoulder while walking to the rest of the group "well, let's just say i have a lot of choiceable garments on my wardrobe"
"can't wait to see the rest" she said while snuggling into him and wrapped both of her hands around his waist
"darling, you ain't seen nothing yet" he said with a smile "what's up guys?" asked aji to the group
"we're in" said icha with a huge grin
the rest of the group were cheering "congratulations on that" said aji with a smile "mind if i borrow one of your beautiful women? particularly this one" he said while pointing at his girlfriend
"take all the time you need, brother" said albert with a smile
they laughed. but then aji felt weird. he felt a sudden dizzyness and he couldn't hear anything besides his heart beat. he had no energy to stand up. and so he fell down to the floor. he could see thalia crying. constantly asking if he was okay. but he couldn't respond. he couldn't do anything. his visions was all blurry. all he could remember was albert trying to give him a CPR, yasmine calling 911, eka praying, michael darrent and fransis carrying him, thalia crying. and nothing.
it was all black.
he couldn't see anything. he couldn't remember anything. and the last thing he knew was he woke up in a hospital bed. he could hear the sound of his breath. every breath that he took. he could hear the cardiac monitor that was beside the bed.
beep... beep... beep... beep...
he lifted his left hand and he saw a big needle strapped on it. what he saw next was thalia. laying her head on the bed. sleeping while holding his right hand tightly. she was crying. he could tell. but now, she was sleeping soundly. her brunette hair covered half of her face. aji could also see a few members of the madesu. venna was sleeping on michael's chest on the couch. jessica fell asleep on jodi's lap on the corner of the room. chacha and naomi sleeping next to each other in the couch also. darrent's head on tasya's lap. albert resting his back against the wall. sleeping. they were all still wearing dresses and shirts from regionals. some wore their jackets and cardigans over them to avoid the coldness.
"i'm worried" said yasmine while pulling alfons's jacket that he lend to her a little bit tighter
"i'm sure he'll be fine" said alfons before sipping his coffee
they were on the waiting room. they didn't want to disturb anyone who was sleeping inside that hospital room.
"yeah, i'm sure everything is going to be okay" said fransis with his optimistic face. even though he was lacking of sleep
"we're all here for him" said alfons again
"but still.. " yasmine was full of concern
"come on. i'm sure the doctors will do something to help him. anything" said fransis
yasmine smiled a little "you're right"
"oh, where's icha and eka? they were here an hour ago" said alfons
"they decided to go home. their parents are worried" said yasmine
"it's 2 am in the morning anyways. can't blame them" said fransis
the three of them sat on the waiting room while chatting about some light things.
"ugh where am i?" asked aji when he woke up
thalia woke up instantly "oh my god. you're okay" she said while hugging him so tight
"where am i thal?"
"you're at the hospital. you fainted and we don't know what to do. i almost thought i'd lose you" she said. she wiped a small stray of tear
"hey, don't cry" said aji while caressing her face
"how could i not cry? you're dying back then" she said while holding his hand on her face
aji couldn't say anything. this girl really loved him. he could saw the deep sorrow from her brown eyes. it killed him for he was the cause of her sadness.
"i can't.. lose you" said thalia. she was about to cry. but she tried hard not to wake the others up
"i'm okay. see" said aji
"you're okay? you have all these things glued on you and you're okay?" she asked "you're not okay. and i can't stand seeing you like this"
he didn't know what to say.
"just.. please. get well soon. i need you to rest, okay. be better" she said
"okay" was all he could say before drowning back to sleep
I'M JUST GONNA END THIS HERE. *SIGH*. i wrote a very long chapter, guys. a really long one. trust me. it's way longer than this, but i'm just gonna put that in chapter 22. okay, so. the songs aren't really many whatsoever. but this chapter is a fun to write.
so, the songs are shiver- coldplay, the hardest thing- tyler ward, find me- boyce avenue AND THAT IS PRETTY MUCH IT. BYE! oh by the way, i'm working on chapter 22 now!! HELL YES.
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