venna woke up early that morning. ugh school day. winning sectionals maybe nice, but sadly, she wasn't a superstar that could skip school to sing in concerts. yet. it was her dream to do so. to be an artist. maybe it wasn't like her, but nobody ever knew her. everyone had a dream. and that was hers. she wanted to sing. she wanted to create an art from words and melody. she wanted to jump to a crowd who were cheering for her. she wanted to feel the tension and the adrenaline from singing on a huge stage in front of everyone. she wanted her face on the people magazine. hell she wanted her face on
well there was nothing else to do besides going to school. her house wasn't that exciting either. her parent was there. sleeping. yeah, parent. she wore her cheerio outfit. it looked nice on her. like always. after taking a last look at the mirror, she grabbed her bag and went outside. venna walked to school. since it was only a few blocks away.
she finally found the school. she stood in front of it. it was still so early. no one was there. clearly. she went inside and walked around the halls. she wasn't really doing anything. she was just.... thinking. when she had nothing to do, she always thought about something. whatever it was. she thought about school. teachers. students. she thought about her first day of school. she was a transfered junior. it wasn't that tough. she had it all. the looks, the brain, the innocence. too bad she was too young to know how to use them right. after the accident with michael and how things have been with fransis, she wasn't sure about how things were.
she wasn't sure about her feelings. she wasn't sure about what will happen. she wasn't sure about what she wanted to happen. and being unsure about everything was killing her. she wanted to know. she wanted to finish. she wanted to make it stop. yes. make it stop. make this feeling of confusion to stop. but suddenly, something snapped her.
"hey. you okay?" asked someone behind her
venna turned around and saw a blonde "oh. it's you" said venna to darrent "er, i'm okay. no biggy"
venna sighed. the guy wasn't idiot enough to believe that she was okay "you got me there" she said
darrent stepped closer "about you. about how things are. i can help"
she looked down for a second and looked back at him. she thought. he might be able to help. he might. she just knew he might. first of all, he was blonde. maybe it could somehow gave them some sort of a connection? and second of all, he was a neutral dude. no sides. and venna really needed help. like,
. maybe he wasn't the smartest guy on the planet, but he knows when something was wrong.
so darrent and venna went to the roof of the school. it was nice. the weather was nice. the roof was kind of beautiful with a garden. venna told him everything.
"i just... it's just so confusing, ya know?" said venna
"i know. i've been there"
"funny when you're so sure about who you want and the next day your feelings just... change" said venna while gazing to the sky
"not gonna argue with that" said venna "i mean, you loved someone, it felt so good when you're together and everything, you got up to a fight, you broke up, you saw him with another girl, and you felt so damn... so damn...sad" said venna
"yep. sad. it's a little pathetic though when you're sad and angry at yourself because you just can't stop loving this person" said darrent
"i know!" shouted venna "it's so frustrating when you can't stop loving someone that's not
you. it's just that.... seeing fransis with another girl.... it's just hurting me because of how he's with
. i mean,
"but hey. what if you're being selfish? what if he's happy with her? i mean, what if" said darrent
venna thought about it awhile. he was right. he was so right. what if, right? she stopped her thoughts "you might be right" she said
"if you truly love someone then... you just have to learn how to let him go. how to let him be happy even thought you're not. right?"
venna laughed "maybe. but it's a different case i'm dealing with now. see, the thing is, i might not be in love with fransis anymore"
"positive. i'm still thinking about him constantly, but how i think about him now is different from how i used to think about him" said venna
"uhhhh" darrent looked confused. because of that sentence. duh. he wasn't that much of a catcher.
"look, the point is, i'm still confused about my feelings. but i think this feeling is fading away. i don't know why but it is. it turns weaker day by day. it doesn't feel the same when i'm with him. i feel like.... like it's no use. ya know? i love him, of course. but what if he doesn't? it's no use for me to love him when he doesn't love me" said venna
"i don't know. what i know is i think loving him won't do any good for me. it just ruins me even more. knowing that he might not love me back" she said
"but still, we can't live like this. keeping our feelings and trying to get rid of it. i just can't. maybe if i found a way to finish it with him then i won't be this miserable" said venna
darrent stood up and put on his hat "like i've said. it won't hurt to try" he said with a smile. he offered venna a hand to stand up
venna smiled and took it. he was right. yes. but somehow, venna didn't even think about how right darrent was. she thought about how sweet he was.
eka looked at edwin confusedly "um.... okay?"
"i feel like... i don't know. like it's not enough"
"well yeah but, not to everyone" whispered edwin. they were at school, so gotta keep it down
eka stopped for a second. just to think. aha. he knew "oh. so parents?"
"yeah. parents" said edwin
"of course. but, it's just... ya know. i came out to my parents and then things get so wrecked" said eka
eka smiled "yeah, my parents. it's been awhile"he looked down. trying to hide it. the pain.
sadly it didn't work. edwin saw it clearly "i'm sorry" said edwin while rubbing eka's back just to comfort him.
"good luck then" said eka while taking his bag and walked away
something was up. something was always up with eka. he was just so sure about who he was. at least it was how edwin saw him. but there was just something wrong. maybe it was about parents. maybe it was doubts about who he was. maybe he was just tired. edwin didn't know. so many things could be up. and edwin worried sick about eka. well
that was definitely something.
thalia was taking some stuff from her locker. she was just doing things that a popular cheerios does. being hot and bitchy. today was nothing special. she was kind of worn out because of sectionals and the celebration party that was hell of exhausting. she swore that she could've still taste the alcohol in her mouth. it stayed in her mouth for almost two days. she guessed the madesu club did the party hard thing. even though as far as she knew, they have been partying for just twice. thalia closed her locker and found two arms wrapped her stomach from her behind. she was shocked from that sudden action, but she could recognize those arms anywhere.
"hey, gorgeous" said aji after kissing thalia's cheek
"hey to you too" she said. her face redden for.... uknown reasons
"so i was just thinking that maybe we could go out for a date later this night"
"um well.. "
"i don't take no for an answer, my lady. so i'll pick you up at six?" asked aji
"but.. "
"great. see you tonight" said aji. he kissed her cheek again and went away.
he didn't even let her talk. thalia leaned her back to her locker and stared at aji who was walking away. she smiled. he got like this special charm that worked perfectly on her. damn you curly dude.
michael and the rest of the football players were practicing on the field. apparently they'll have a big game next week for regionals football competition. the football team in vincentius high wasn't a bad team. they won nationals two years in a row. they definitely wasn't a bad team. looked like the bruises and scars from late football practice was well payed.
the boys weren't really in a fit condition. hard partying, remember? michael looked sick, darrent's face was green, evodie held his stomach all the time during practice, and fransis looked like he could puke anytime. well nobody wanted that to happen. but it did. fransis as the quarterback gave directions to the other player, but it seemed like he didn't give the right ones. the whole team was a mess during practice. and because of that, coach agung, the football coach, a really sloppy man with a golf cart, called fransis.
"what are you trying to do to the team? you all look like a bunch of idiots" said coach agung "well, i mean, you are a bunch of idiots, but this time you all look like idiots with no brains"
fransis looked at him while narrowing his eyes "wait, is that even possible?"
"that's not the point, you dumb bag. the team is so messed up today''
"i know, coach"
coach agung was waiting angrily for explanations "and?"
"and i think i'm going to throw up, sir" said fransis while holding his stomach and putting the sick look on his face.
"you think this is a joke? well i oughta-"
but before coach agung could finish his sentence, he could feel a mushy liquid on his shoes. oops. fransis puked right in front of him. well actually he puked
on him. it was just.... ew. coach agung didn't say anything. he was totally speechless in a shock kind of way. fransis wiped his mouth and he was waiting for coach to drop the bomb to him. but well, coach agung fainted. seemed like he wasn't really a friend of pukes. in fact, he hated it so much that it made him pass out.
hey, come on. look at the bright side. fransis didn't get to be yelled at for the rest of the day.
damn that party. just... damn.
fransis went to the locker room and changed. the football team was a mess already, so he didn't want to add some more. he felt a little bit better now after the puke thingy. but still, he couldn't stop thinking about one thing. it kept going on and on in his head.
venna.
well it wasn't a surprise at all. he was in love with her but he tried not to be. he tried hard. but not hard enough to fall out of love. he had her. he messed up. he lost her. he wanted her back. he wanted her back big time. he didn't know though if it was love. but it probably was. because after everything that they've been through. he just couldn't believe that he tried to forget her. it didn't work. but still, he tried. and it just broke his heart. the fact that he tried to throw away his love and replace it with something that was unreal.
fransis and venna was real.
their love was real. their laughs were real. their affections were real. their hugs were real. their kisses were real. their love story was definitely real. but sadly, their break up was also real. break ups, to be precise. they've been on and off and on and off. and it was neither sad or confusing. what were they doing? were they just some sort of an item? or was it something more?
that freaking question is the most annoying question that anyone has ever think about.
love is huge. well it is. we can't just run around and tell some random person about how we love them. no, we can't. love is something different. love is something that we can't underestimate. if we love someone, then we probably have this strange different feelings towards this someone. yes. love isn't just love. it's
love. it's special. and sometimes it also hurts.
but fransis didn't know love. he didn't know anything about it. all he knew was he loved her. and that was the weird part. he didn't care. he wasn't much of a thinker like evodie. he went for it. and he usually nailed it. and he prayed to god that he could nail this one. because this one was the only thing that mattered to him. for now.
michael and the other boys went inside the locker room. it kinda surprised fransis. but then he heard some of what michael was saying
"if you want that bike, then you have to go to it now and do whatever it takes to have it" said michael to one of the boys.
fransis got a wake up call from that.
now. if he wanted venna he need to do it now and he need to do whatever it takes to have her.
now. he stood up and hugged michael.
"thanks bro" said fransis to michael while hugging him.
fransis went outside. leaving michael and the boys with many extremely confused faces. fransis ran fastly to go and get his girl. his freaking girl.
meanwhile, michael was trying to figure out how to get
his girl back. ugh. he never thought that it would be this hard. and he couldn't ask anyone to help him. could he? well there was this one person that could definitely help him at the moment.
chacha.
she could. she knew everything about naomi. best friends for life, remember? but would she? well she loved her. he loved her too. wouldn't it be weird for michael to ask help from chacha, his "possibly enemy"? well yeah it wasn't a competition to get naomi, but with chacha, it felt like it was. michael decided to ask for some help from chacha even though he knew what she felt about naomi. chacha already told him to go get his girl, so she would probably help him. he just hoped that she would.
naomi and michael were still not talking. they barely looked at each other. but it was like avoiding air. and fyi we can
not avoid air what so ever. naomi tried to avoid michael's gaze and michael tried to avoid hers. it was all awkward. what were they doing? he loved her, she loved him, maybe, then why weren't they together? ah teenage dramas. michael was standing in front of his locker when he saw chacha walking towards naomi. he watched them closely but not in a stalker kind of way. he pretended like he was doing stuff with his locker. chacha met naomi. both girls with the green cheerios uniform. blue eyes met brown. michael couldn't hear what they were talking about. he just watched.
"hey" said chacha
"hi" said naomi while stopping what she was doing and looked right at those baby blue. she shifted her weight to her right foot.
"i think i owe you an apology" said chacha "that's the right sentence, right?"
naomi couldn't help but to chuckle "yeah, it is"
"i learn that from a movie" she said "anyway, i'm sorry, naomi"
"you shouldn't be" said naomi
"but i've ruin everything. and i know i shouldn't have followed my evil side"
"it's okay. and i'm the one who should be sorry"
"what for?" asked chacha with an innocence in her tone
"for... for not returning your feelings" said naomi while looking down. her hands nervously playing with her skirt "i feel so bad about it. you're my best friend"
"please don't. it's not your fault. we can't control our feelings. don't feel guilty" said chacha "as long as you're happy"
as long as you're happy.
"you know i love you" said naomi
"i know" of course she knew. naomi was sort of a bitch. she acted like one to everyone in this school. except for chacha. from the moment they met, chacha knew naomi was treating her differently. their attitude was like fire and water. naomi's attitude was the complete opposite of chacha's. but somehow, naomi liked how different they were. because the difference in chacha was different. she was innocent. adorable. bubbly and glee. she was that type of person that could go with anyone. especially with naomi. naomi loved the way chacha could stop her from doing something. like saying a bad word. or doing a bad thing. even though naomi was the boss of her own, she couldn't help but to do whatever chacha says. it was like some sort of a control that she had on naomi.
"walk with me to spanish?" asked naomi while offering her pinky
"gladly" said chacha. she took it and they walked happily to spanish class. even though someone was still holding her feelings.
as long as you're happy.
michael saw that. he thought about it. what did chacha said to naomi? he felt like somehow chacha was one step ahead of him. like somehow this was a competition to get naomi. he needed to talk to chacha. asap.
yasmine was walking to her locker. she opened it and a piece of paper fell from it. she took it and found a note.
i miss you -a
she smiled. what a boy she had. but when she was smiling, evodie walked into his locker, which was right next to yasmine's, with a horrible look. someone was up all night.
"you look nice" said yasmine
"thank you, i tried so hard not to look like absolute shit" said evodie sarcasticly
"is that a new shirt?" she asked
"cut the crap, yas. i look like a zombie" he said
she laughed "yes, you do. so what's up with that?"
"i didn't sleep. i couldn't sleep" said evodie "thinking about a particular person that dumped me for someone else"
"no way" said yasmine with a curious look "chacha found someone else?"
"apparently she did. but i don't know the guy. the second i know who it is i'm going to kick his as-"
"stop right there, sir. i tend not to use words with violence or body parts in it" said yasmine
he giggled "you're so cheesy"
"yes and everyone loves me" she said "about your problems"
"well, i won't give up that easily. it's going to be hard to get rid of me" said evodie
"that's the spirit. show her that you're willing to give everything to have her" she said
"yeah" said evodie with big amount of anthusiasm in the words "hey, yas"
"hm?"
evodie placed his right hand to her left shoulder "thanks. for being here" he smiled
and she returned it "no problem" oh that sweet smile of hers. evodie adored her smile. it was precious "now give me my lunch for today" continued yasmine
"aw man, you just ruined our best friends moments there" said evodie while opening his bag and gave her a sandwich
she laughed. that laugh. "thank you" said yasmine. before she walked away, she said "keep it coming, vod"
and he watched her go with a huge grin. apparently she was the only one that could bring a smile in his face. today was going to suck if he had to go through it without his little brunette.
"okay guys, so congrats again for winning sectionals. but, there are still regionals and nationals for us to win" said mr veri "regionals is on next week. we have to prepare a set list. anyone has any idea?"
"i got one, mr v" said alfons. he smiled at yasmine and stood up.
"great, let's hear it then" said mr veri while sitting down.
alfons went to grab a guitar and started singing.
Called you for the first time yesterday
I finally found the missing part of me
I felt so close but you were far away
Left me without anything to say
alfons smiled. he looked at everyone who started to sing along or made some harmonies. it was just nice.
Now I'm speechless over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this lovebug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this lovebug again
fransis was singing along. finally he could see venna here in madesu club. he has been searching for her everywhere. him and venna shared a view awkward stares through the song. he kept looking at her. that was why venna felt so awkward. she wondered why he kept staring at her. somehow it made her nervous. it was like he had something to say. and that something was going to change everything.
I can't get your smile out of my mind
I think about your eyes all the time
You're beautiful but you don't even try
Modesty is just so hard to find
alfons couldn't keep his eyes off of his gal. she was resting her chin on her fist. she was smiling. god, that smile. oh god. just look at her. his stomach twirled. and he liked it. he liked the way yasmine made his stomach twirl uncontrolably. it tickled.
Now I'm speechless over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this lovebug again
Hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this lovebug again
albert who was sitting, stood up to show some of his moves. he just needed to dance. dancing was kind of his thing. it was like something he used to show his feelings. to express it. he danced so gracefully around alfons who was sitting and playing the guitar. albert smiled during the song. it actually reminded him of the day he fell in love. the same day when the girl he loved decided to date another guy. ouch. but still, good times.
I kissed her for the first time yesterday
Everything I wished that it would be
Suddenly I forgot how to speak
Hopeless, breathless, baby can't you see?
everyone was feeling so good. so happy. so cheered up. this song reminded every one of them about this special person that made them fell in love. they stood up and started dancing and everything.
Now I'm speechless over the edge, I'm just breathless
I never thought that I'd catch this lovebug again
Now I'm hopeless, head over heels in the moment
I never thought that I'd get hit by this lovebug again
Oh Lovebug again
when the song finished, applauses were all over the place. it was just a nice song for all of them to have fun with. alfons finished the song with a huge smile. he stood up and went to his chair. before he sat down, yasmine stood up and gave him a peck on his cheek. and the world just stopped spinning.
"that was great, alfons" said mr v "really good job. okay that is one in the bucket. guys, i have a special assignment for all of you tomorrow."
mr veri went to the whiteboard and wrote "secrets" on it. the club was excited but they had no idea what the task was.
"i was watching pretty little liars last night. it is a very fun tv show to watch" said mr v. the girls shared a few giggles because they never thought that mr veri would watch that kind of show "and from that show, i got a feeling that a secret can be so dangerous. it keeps us distant. i'm not trying to strip you off. i just want you guys to tell one of your secrets in front of the club tomorrow. each and every one of you. secrets can be a burden. and maybe we can help each other through it all. okay guys, see you tomorrow"
and with that, the madesu club was over for the day. fransis quickly went to talk to venna. venna was already out of the choir room, so he had to ran to get her. the halls were empty. the rest of the club were already out. but for some reason venna didn't go with the girls. she walked through the empty halls. her right hand was traveling around the walls and lockers and doors and everything while her left was holding her cheerio jacket. she thought. again. she was starting to think that maybe this was her problem. thinking too much. but she couldn't stop herself. it was a bit dark. she didn't care. her feet stopped in front of a case with trophies in it. footballs, cheerios, volleys, basketballs. everything. she could see her own reflection from the glass case.
"what the hell is wrong with you?" asked the man to his wife
"i don't know" said corry
"then why the hell-" but before eko could finish his sentence, corry interrupted
"you know what? maybe the problem is you. maybe you're wrong" she said with an angry tone
"how in the world that i have to be blamed in this situation?" asked eko furiously "you're the one who did it"
"yes. i did it and i was wrong. but i did it because of you" said corry. the sound of hard rain didn't even stop her voice
"god dammit tell me what i did wrong?" he said "tell me why you fucked another man without me knowing it" eko was out of control. he threw his hand on the kitchen counter. it hurt seriously until it was bleeding. but not as much as how his heart was bleeding.
corry could not contain the tears anymore. she let it go even though she held it from when this conversation started "you don't give me what i need"
"don't you ever say that. i gave you everything" said eko. he was sad to see his wife crying in front of him. but he didn't want to lose his pride
"then you didn't give me enough" she said
"what? what is it that i didn't give to you?" asked eko with anger on his tone "you slept with him. you fucking slept with your fucking friend. i told you not to hang out with bastards"
"you didn't give me affection, ko. i need to know how much you want me. how much you love me. i need a man that i don't have to ask for a kiss. when i'm with you, i feel like you don't want me to be yours" screamed corry. she was letting it all out. she could no longer contain all the angers and rage and scars inside her.
and it hit him. that explanation hit eko like a truck. he felt his heart stopped pumping. well it felt like it was stopping. sadly, it didn't. she was right. eko wasn't the type of man that could show his wife all of love that he had in his heart. but he swore to everything he had that he loved corry so much. he loved her more than he loved himself. more than he loved anything. he loved her, okay. but corry was also the type of woman that needed proof. she needed to know. if he showed it, then he loved her. if he didn't show it, then his love didn't exist. they used to be perfect for each other. used to be. where were they now?
they were getting older.
they were getting tired. they were getting sick. they were getting to be nothing. corry was still crying. her right fist was placed on her chest and her left hand was on the counter. holding herself from falling. she was shaking. why? she didn't know. meanwhile, the blonde man who stood across her was anything but shaking. he was standing still. his fist was no longer on the counter. it moved to settle on his side. his blonde hair was not so blonde anymore. his shiny face now turned into grey. though he was still good looking in a suit as usual.
"but you have to sleep with another guy to make you feel good about yourself?" asked eko again.
"it's not entirely my fault" said the woman who was wearing a suit as well. seemed like they were just gone back home from work late at night. he rubber his temple.
"but it's sti-" eko haven't finished that sentence when a voice startled them.
"mom? dad? is everything alright?" asked venna while rubbing her eyes.
eka and corry were surprised at venna. both went silent. venna could clearly see that her mother was crying. it made her wonder. she had no clue. her face was exhausted. she could see guilt inside her light brown eyes. but what and why? then venna could see her father. his hazel eyes. pretty much like hers. he walked towards venna and hugged her.
eko hugged his daughter with so much love. she could feel it. and she returned it. eko pulled away. venna tried to read him. the expression on his face was... sad. she frowned. something was wrong. but then she noticed that he looked at her differently. he faked a smile. she saw it. but from the look on his eyes, he showed hopes. hopes on her. neither said anything. eko kissed her forehead. and somehow venna felt like this was going to be her last moment of seeing her father. he took his keys and left the house.
"i'm so sorry, sweetie" said corry.
the memory went through venna when she saw her reflection. after last night, her father was nowhere to be found. she didn't know what happen between her parents. he just knew that her father left. corry haven't filled her with explanations. it was okay though. venna wasn't so sure if she wanted to know why her father left. her parents were always fighting. she was used to it. but she knew that this time it was different. because usually her father would be home in the morning even though he left the night before. this time, he didn't. and venna.. frankly she could care less about the drama that has been going on in her house. eko and her wasn't so close after all. venna knew her mother, but not her father. there was always this distance between them. but her mother was her best friend.
that was all she knew.
and that was all she wanted to know.
the less i know, the better. that was her thought about her parents. enough was too much. she was standing there with her mind elsewhere when fransis walked behind her. she could see his reflection behind hers. she didn't turn around. her fingers danced on the glass.
"do you remember our first kiss?" asked venna. still wasn't facing fransis. but she saw the small change on his lips. she smiled. it was the kind of smile that rarely happens. he couldn't tell what was it for "i know you do"
then venna continued with her eyes gazing over the trophies. she said "it was the day when you told me that you truly loved me. and i know you did"
"i don't get the point" said fransis
"we haven't reached the point, sis" said venna "you said you don't know why you loved me. you just did. and i was so mezmerized by your words. how you look me in the eyes, how you do that nervous thing with your hands, how your hands were shaking, how you say them from your heart without thinking. i loved that"
fransis smiled. remembering everything that happened that night.
"where are them now?" asked venna
"they are here, waiting for you" said fransis
she let out a small giggle "no, they're not" she turned around and faced fransis "they're gone"
fransis didn't say anything. he looked down and tried to say something. anything. please.
"things will never be the same. that feeling that you used to give to me is... not there anymore" she said while looking at the floor
"i'm sure we can find it. just give me time" said fransis
"time time time" said venna with a sarcastic tone "i gave you time. and what did you do? replace me with someone else"
"i was stupid and lost" said fransis "please, ven. give me a chance"
"do you mean
another chance?" asked venna "i'm done giving chances. especially to you"
"i... " fransis wasn't sure of what he was going to say "i just... "
"you what?" asked venna "you're sorry?"
"well i am, but- "
"so you're sorry, huh? wow. that is so awesome, isn't it? you said 'i love you' to a girl, dumped her like shit, and all you can say is you're sorry?" she was a little bit angry. anger had her.
"i'm sorry, okay. i don't know what to say, but i'm really really sorry. i love you and i swear to god this time i will love you right" said fransis
she gave him a laugh "sure you will. i know you will. you're as stupid as a shrimp. but i know you can learn from this. it's just that... it took so much time to get you there. feelings can change, sis. and like i said, i'm done giving chances" said venna with full power in this conversation. she turned around and walked away.
"ven, wait" said fransis. she turned her head slightly to her left where she could see him, but not entirely "i'm just... i'm just really sorry. please... "
she waited for a minute. this was it. her last chance to have him back. but she didn't want to lose her pride. she didn't want to get back together with him and face this all over again. she was tired. she thought that it would be best if they weren't together. even though deep down, she knew that she still got some pieces of him. and he still got some of hers. but it wouldn't be great for them to keep ruining themselves. she made her decision within a few seconds.
yes. this is it.
"you know, sometimes a few
'i'm sorry's can not change everything. sometimes you just can't change anything" she said before turning her head back and walked away just like that.
leaving fransis with a crumbled hope, when hope was all he needed.
================================
prom prom prom prom prom yes prom i'll be back in prom prom prom
anya was sitting on her couch. tapping her foot to the floor with a quick rhythm. placing her palm on her forehead while her elbow was leaning on her thighs. she couldn't stop thinking about it. well yeah going back to school will be great. but what if everything changes? what if things weren't like they used to be? what if she'll feel different? what if everyone has forgotten her? that would suck. although she'll be back on prom, that was two more weeks to go. yeah. still a long time. but she couldn't help it. she didn't know what she has to feel. excited or afraid.
suddenly she felt a breeze of wind on her right ear.
"not now, mom" said anya while rubbing her ear
but the wind was still affecting her with its ways. anya stood up and went to her bedroom. she let her body fell to the bed. she sighed. her mom won't stop taking care of her. it was just so her mom to do so. anya's mom just couldn't let her go. could she? was it the problem? it probably was. anya looked at the ceiling when she heard the bathroom door slammed softly. she tilted her head so she could see the bathroom door.
the shadow form was there. leaning its shoulder to the door. watching every movement that anya made. it was kind of creepy. but it didn't feel creepy. it felt safe. but cold. so cold. she didn't like the coldness. she told dami once. twice. but he didn't listen. he didn't believe in such thing. such thing as ghosts. he said that it might be a trauma or some hallucinations. even though sometimes he could feel her wife. he thought he felt her. but he tried to believe that it was just nothing. so anya stopped telling him since he didn't listen.
"why are you here?" asked anya.
no respond.
it was as if she was talking to herself in the bedroom "i know that you're my mom and everything. but if this keeps going on, then... then i don't think i can make it" said anya.
"i love you, mom. and i can't keep doing this. i can't wake up every morning, looking at you in my bathroom door, but don't have the power to reach you"
no respond.
"and i don't know what your problem is that you're still here" said anya "please. let me finish it for you. i want you to be happy. not to sit around her and watch over me. you've done enough for me"
the wind blew harder. there was a scrabble board on the table. it fell down because of the wind. anya was shocked and she stood up to clean it. she looked at the messed up words and her eyes were wide open. she put her hand on her chest when she looked at the words. it was too impossible to be an accident. it said
let me go.
the random words made a simple sentence on the floor.
let me go.
what the fuck does that mean?
==============================
chacha was sitting on a bench outside of the school. doing absolutely nothing. and apparently she was great at it. she was still in her cheerio uniform. she loved her uniform. it was something that simbolized her. it was a proof that she was a part of something. and being a part of something special made her feel special. her hair was pretty messy from cheerio practice and madesu club. she crossed her legs and swung them back and forth. she was just hanging around with herself. until someone blocked the sun on her. she lifted her head up and saw michael.
"you're glowing" said chacha while narrowing her eyes
"it's the sun, cha" said michael
"are you from heaven?"
"um, no" said michael while sitting next to her "i came out of my mom's junk"
"oh" she said with a disappointed tone "hi michael"
"i was just thinking" he said "i know i might sound like an asshole, but would you help me to get naomi back?"
chacha was now focusing on the conversation instead of her legs. her face turned to her thinking face. that name always took her attention away. the name of the girl that she claimed to love. okay. michael was asking for her help to get back with naomi. it wasn't supposed to be a big thing. but it was for chacha. somehow. there was something inside her that twisted. and it didn't feel great.
"okay" said chacha
oh something inside her chest burned. it twisted more. she felt it clearly. moreover after she agreed to help him. chacha felt like she was betraying herself. her heart. it ached. it felt so wrong to answer yes to that question. chacha should just stand up and punch him in the face for asking that question. he knew that she was so in love with naomi. yet he asked her anyway. chacha was angry. but she didn't let her anger slip. she stayed as calm as possible. she tried to breathe. she tried to think. she closed her eyes
i'm doing this for naomi. as long as she's happy.
"great" said michael "i'll keep you posted"
and with that, michael walked away.
that dick. he didn't even ask about how chacha feels. she felt stupid. yet she had to do this. she wanted to make naomi the happiest girl on earth. it would be nice. but as she thought again, it would be nicer if
she was the one that made naomi happy. not michael or some dumb other boys.
chacha finally stood up. she straightened her skirt and brushed her hair. she walked slowly to naomi's house with no intention at all. she just felt like going there. but maybe it was because she missed hanging out with her. ever since her fight and her confession, she never really went to naomi's house again. as usual, she climbed through the tree and knocked the window.
naomi who was kneeing beside her bed noticed her quickly. she opened the window and let the blonde entered her room.
"you know, we have a front door for a reason" said naomi while closing the window
"front doors are boring, naomi" said chacha
"but for some people, front doors can be very useful, cha"
"like who?" asked chacha before she jumped to the bed
"uh like most of the people in this world" said naomi with a weird look
"but we're not like most people, are we?" asked chacha innocently
"perhaps" she said while throwing herself to lie down next to chacha
so there they were, lying next to each other. not taking their eyes off of the ceiling. chacha was distracted with the bob marley poster that naomi put on her ceiling until she realized that her bare shoulder was brushing with naomi's. skin versus skin. chacha's skin was so contrast with the latina's beside her. white and tan. but they mixed up perfectly. naomi's skin felt warm and cozy. it gave chacha goosebumps all over her body. and from insticts, her hand reached naomi's. she grabbed her hand and stroked it gently.
naomi was surprised at this action. but she went with it. because even god knows that she loved it. she loved the feeling that she got from the touch. it felt nice and safe. she didn't even expect that she will like how it feels. they were quiet. no sound. but chacha decided to break the ice while not stopping her movements on her hand.
"so how is it that we're not like most people?" asked chacha
"i don't know" said naomi "we're just different"
"but everyone is different"
"we're
different different" she said "especially you"
"why?"
"i've never really met someone like you. i mean, you're so innocent and adorable" said naomi. they weren't looking at each other. just the ceiling
chacha giggled "that's sweet" she said "you're different too"
"how is it that i'm different?" asked naomi. she was into the conversation. but the blonde's hand that was rubbing hers was pretty distracting
"hmm where should i start" mumbled chacha "you're a latina. we rarely have that"
naomi chuckled "i guess"
"you're so good at remembering things. like my schedule"
"uh huh" said naomi
"your skin color is so awesome" said chacha "but then again, there are so many awesome things about you. your eyes and how they glow perfectly. i always thought that you have some sort of little stars there. your raspy voice, the sound that i admire the most in the world. your laugh oh my god how could i forget your laugh. it's the cutest thing ever. and your..."
naomi turned her head to chacha. this was getting a little bit weird. she looked at how the blonde said all those things without even care. how she said the words with all of her honesty. and holy fuck, how beautiful she was. naomi haven't really noticed how beautiful her best friend was until now. and when chacha ran out of words to say, she crunched her nose. and even naomi loved how she did that. naomi looked at the blonde with a really serious yet lovely face.
after a while, chacha turned her head to naomi too. so they were staring at each other.
"i don't know what else to say. i'm pretty sure i still have so much more. if you want to, i can make a list about it and-" before chacha could finish, she felt a grip on her hand
naomi was holding chacha's hand. she was finally holding her hand. yes. something inside chacha's stomach twirled. and she loved it. naomi was gripping chacha's hand a little bit hard. as if she was afraid of something. chacha could feel it. she could see it.
"you know, michael still has a thing on you" said chacha.
"really?"
"yeah"
"why are you saying this to me?" asked naomi "i thought you hated him"
"because i think you're in love with him and i want you to be happy" said chacha. it crushed her.
"but are you happy?"
"of course i am" chacha smiled. not teeth was shown. it was just a crook on the corner of her lips. and from that moment, naomi knew that chacha was lying
"you're not good at lying" said naomi
"i'm not lying"
"i am naomi, cha. you can't lie to me"
chacha sighed "worth a shot"
"i'm not into him anymore" said naomi
it lit chacha. naomi could see it through her eyes. chacha tried to hide her happiness "really?"
"yeah. he's just a dumb badass" said naomi "besides, i'm a perfect badass myself. i don't need him to be the head bitch in charge of the school"
"can you at least talk to him?" asked chacha
"no way"
"okay" said chacha "i love you" oops. that just slipped from her mouth
"cha" said naomi
"mi" said chacha
"stop"
"hey, what can i say? i do love you" she said "just like i've said, we can't control our feelings. my feelings for you won't change that easily. and how i feel about you is... love"
naomi was silenced. she couldn't say anything. chacha was right. but how did that makes her feel? naomi didn't know what she was feeling about this. she didn't know what she supposed to feel about this. about chacha. and that scared the shit out of her. they were lost into each other's eyes. hands and shoulders crashing into each other's.
it felt so wrong but so right at the same time.
they both turned their bodies to each other. chacha cupped naomi's cheek. she leaned her head closer to naomi's. naomi put her hand on chacha's hand that was on her cheek. she closed her eyes.
"i'm scared" said naomi
"it's okay" said chacha while leaning slowly
closer. closer. closer. yes. almost there.
when their lips were just inches apart, naomi sat up quickly and opened her eyes.
"this can't happen" said naomi while standing up
"but why?" asked chacha who followed her best friend
"it just can't"
"why naomi?"
"it just fucking can't okay"
"but why? tell me, naomi. what is the reason for all of this? what is the reason we can't fall in love with each other? huh?" asked chacha angryly.
it hit naomi. why? she haven't really thought about it. she loved chacha. in what way? she didn't know. but there was a main reason why they couldn't just fall in love with each other "you're a girl"
"and what does that had to do with love?" asked chacha
she didn't know. fuck she didn't know "we need boundries" said naomi.
chacha continued "oh so you need boundries? if you need boundries then i'll give you boundries. but hear me when i say that someday you'll have to learn that love has no boundries, mi. i can't believe you right now"
"i think you need to leave" said naomi while looking at the floor
chacha walked to the window "fine" she said "and i won't use the front door because it's too normal for me to use it than to use the window. i'm not afraid to be different. i'm not afraid to admit who i am. unlike you, who doesn't even admit that you have feelings for me. your problem is you're too afraid to be different"
chacha opened the window and jumped to the tree. she ran to her house as quickly as possible. she was crying. naomi stared at her window for a while. she sighed. she was disappointed with herself. somehow.
and now, nobody was there for her.
===========================
"we're going to the movies?" asked thalia
"even better" said aji while not taking his eyes off the road
"you know i hate secrets" said thalia while crossing her arms and pouted. aji looked at her and smiled. he knew her pretty well. they were riding aji's 1969 mustang. not a very new year but definitely a very new engine.
"it's not a secret when we have arrived" said aji while stopping the car and turned the engine off.
"i can't see anything"
"because it's dark outside, you goose" said aji
thalia rolled her eyes on that "what is exciting about a very dark place anyway?"
"you'll see" said aji. he went outside the car. thalia was still in the car. refusing to go outside
aji walked to her side of the door and opened the door for her. he waited while giving her a hand. "what?" asked thalia
"you're not coming?" asked aji
thalia shook her head. aji sighed "it's dark outside, ji"
aji turned around slowly and then turned again quickly to held her and carry thalia with his arms "that's the point, hotstuff" thalia was surprised at the sudden movement but laughed at how he did that.
he walked through the corn field. it was a corn field. what the fuck? they still have one of those? aji walked through it with a flashlight that he held in his mouth and her girlfiend on his arms. it was a double job since thalia decided not to walk. and he loved it. he felt like he was needed. he loved every single moment of carrying his girlfiend to their dating spot.
finally, they arrived at a grass field. it was dark but they could still see the flowers and a huge tree in the middle of it. it was beautiful. thalia felt like she was in a fairy tale. she stood up from him and walked slowly while staring at the view.
"how did you find this place?" asked thalia. she was pretty amazed
"i did a little research" said aji with a smirk
"and by research you mean getting lost and accidentally found a beautiful garden?" said thalia
he chuckled "pretty much"
she turned around and met him "this is awesome" she smiled. it was a very huge smile. rarely occured from her.
"anything for me lady" said aji with his charming accent. he smiled. it was one of his goofy smile.
they lie down on the grass next to each other. it felt comfortable. they just lie there. watching the stars. laughing at each other's jokes. it was one of those nice dates. after a couple of minutes, their mouth were getting tired. silence crept into them. the comfortable one. thalia looked up in the stars and closed her eyes for a few seconds. just when she was about to fell asleep, she felt a hand on hers. she let out a little grasp and had the ability to open her eyes.
"it's just me" said aji
thalia turned her head to him and smiled
"i miss you" he said again
"how can you miss me when i'm here with you?" asked thalia confused
aji looked at the sky and sighed "i don't know. it's like every minute that i've spend with you is so precious. and i don't want to forget that."
she stared at him. those words could even turn her face into a tomato. she tried to hide her blush with saying "have you ever dated a cheerio before?"
"um, never" he said "it's supposed to be a secret, but i've never really dated anyone. ever"
thalia's eyes widen. he felt the stare and looked at her "what?" asked aji
"like ever?" asked thalia
"yes, thalia. like, ever" he said "i mean, i got the charms. but not the experience"
"well that is weird" she said
"but what isn't? right?"
thalia looked up again and said "right"
aji found the stars again "everything is weird, thal. everything is not always what it seems" he said. thalia felt like he tried to say something to her but he didn't know how
"what are you trying to say here?" asked thalia. they weren't looking at each other. just gazing through the stars
"i'm just saying that sometimes people are different than we thought they were" said aji "like maybe they have secrets"
"well you can share yours anytime" she said "you know i hate secrets, ji"
he closed his eyes. trying to breathe. trying to think whether it was okay to tell her. he had a secret. secrets to be precise. but there was this one huge secret that he thought he shouldn't be hiding. especially to her. he didn't want to keep it from her. but he didn't want her to know either. it would hurt both of them. they've been dating for almost two weeks now. and even in that short time, love had grown between them. it was getting stronger. he loved her the moment he met her. and he knew exactly how she felt about him. the same feeling that he felt about her. it started off with fooling around. but all those hormones turned into emotions. into feelings. how he felt about her was rare. she made him search for this feeling. and he found love. both of them found love. he cared about her as much as she cared about him. and he needed to tell the truth about him. to tell her his deepest secret.
but he wasn't ready.
he was never ready to tell anyone about this. although he knew that someday he must. he just didn't want anyone to change. to treat him differently after he told everyone about his secret. so mostly, he was scared. scared of the reactions. but he won't know how they will react if he didn't tell them.
"i know you do" he said smiling
she sighed and turned her head. her brown eyes met his light green shiny eyes. and it was the most beautiful view that she had ever seen. she was lost for words. fuck do words even exist?
"i love you" said aji. oh he did.
"i know" said thalia.
"what are you afraid of?" asked aji
"falling in love" she said simply
"don't be"
"how?"
aji's right hand cupped her cheek. and she held it. he opened his mouth. he started to sing. it was the first thing that he had in mind. and damn he could sing. the boy could sing.
You, you like driving on a Sunday
You, you like taking off on Monday
You, you're like a dream
A dream come true
I was just a face you never notice
Now I'm just trying to be honest
With myself, with you
With the world
he looked straight at her while still in that position. he got this accent that made her heart melt more than she thought it would.
You might think that I'm a fool
For falling over you
So tell me what can I do to prove to you
That it's not so hard to do?
Give love a try, one more time
'Cause you know that I'm on your side
Give love a try, one more time
he winked to her. and he didn't know what he just made her feel. thalia was frustrated. how could she not love this boy? she was frustrated for that fact.
How did it play out like a movie?
Now every time you speak it moves me
And I can't get your smile
Off my mind
And your eyes, when I saw 'em for the first time
Knew that I was gonna love you for a long time
With a love so real,
So right
he smiled. the smile was so sweet. so warm. so him. aji stroked her cheek. it was the softest thing that he had ever put his hand on. and he wasn't sure that he could stop. thalia closed her eyes. trying to feel every bit of his hand on her cheek.
Well, you might think that I'm a fool
For falling over you
So tell me what can I do to prove to you
That it's not so hard to do?
Give love a try, one more time
'Cause you know that I'm on your side
Give love a try, one more time
One more time
now, their foreheads were touching. it was the greatest feeling in the world. thalia's heart was beating fast. faster and faster and faster everytime she spends time with aji. it was a new feeling for her. yes, she had dated so many guys
and girls because of her reputation as a cheerio. but it couldn't even being called dated. it was just fooling around. and because of that, she felt empty. nothing could ever fix her loneliness. but this time, she felt whole. that huge empty stop in her heart has being filled with what she had always wanted.
love.
aji. yes. he was it. her first love. but she was scared as hell. scared to lose him. scared to not being able to see him again. that was why she always avoided love. but then again, she had never actually felt it before. and that song. that frickin song that came out from aji. it convinced her that it was okay to feel love. it was okay to be scared. it was okay to take chances. and she felt safe. she was in good hands. his hands.
"i want to hug you forever" said thalia
he didn't respond. he just wrapped arms around her waist. they were closer. he could feel her hot breath on his face. she had no idea how much he wanted to hug her. how much he wanted to kiss her. god dammit how much he wanted to tell her how much he wanted to do all of those things. he loved her. he wanted her.
"i want to kiss you" she said again
she didn't has to ask him twice for that. his lips met hers. and they both melted into a sweet soft kiss. it was tender. it wasn't as rough as other boys would kiss her. and she swore to god that it was the best kiss she had ever gotten.
when the kiss broke, they stared at each other for a long minute. and that was it. the moment that thalia was positively sure that she was in love with this boy. but she wasn't ready to tell him that. to be completely open and to be vunerable in front of him. it scared her.
"i love you" said aji
"i know"
==========================
eka and edwin walked to edwin's house right after school. they walked slowly. trying to think what edwin would say to his parents. edwin didn't think it was a huge thing or something. but eka said that it has to be perfect.
the art of coming out.
that was what eka thought of. coming out of the closet, especially to your parents is a big deal. a huge deal. it was the moment when you can tell your parents about who you really are. who you want to be. who you're going to be. and who you're going to spend your life with. it wasn't a hard choice for edwin to make. he knew exactly who he was. for now.
was it even a choice?
sometimes he thought about it. he did. but he had never gotten the answers. he wanted to ask eka about it. but he was afraid that eka would be mad at him again like that time in cijantung.
eka and edwin was only a few meters away from school when andre, the school's
'jurnalist' and
'gossip god' stepped from their way while talking in front of the camera.
"so a rumour was told that the big jock edwin spends more time with other's balls than with his" said andre. then he shoved the mic to edwin after asking a question "is it true?"
"uh-" edwin who wasn't even ready for a question, couldn't say anything
"so it is" said andre "when exactly did you choose to be a player from the other team?"
"uh-" again, he couldn't say anything. wow this boy was a fast question giver
but then eka jumped in front of them and took the mic "you know what? i'm going to clear this out for you people who's stupid enough to even watch this video"
he stood in front of the camera and fixed his hair a bit. he noticed the weird looks on andre and edwin "what? i can't help it. i was born to be a performer" said eka
but then eka looked straight at the camera and started his speech "since when did being gay is a choice? so you think i chose to be gay? you think all gays and lesbians chose to be like that? to be insulted. to be humiliated. to be bullied all the time? i mean, who wants that kind of life? who wants to walk in the school halls and being teriffied at every turn because of the fear that someone will throw a slurpee right on your face? no. nobody wants that life. and now you're trying to say that i want that life? hell no. and let me ask you something. when did
you 'choose' to be straight? when did
you tell your parents that you're straight? when did
you 'decide' to be straight? huh?"
andre was confused and he couldn't think of anything to say. so eka continued "straight, gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, black, white, latina, asian, lebanese. it doesn't even matter. they're just labels. and yes, it's great to have labels sometimes. it shows us who we are. but these labels are not labels that can show us who we are. it's just stupid labels with stupid people talking shit about it. so please. stop saying that being gay is a choice. it's not. it is who i am. i was born to be gay and i'm proud about it. i didn't choose to be gay. i chose to be happy with who i am" he said
but then someone threw a slurpee right on eka's face. well that was... yeah. andre walked away to probably post that video on his blog or something. it wasn't even important in edwin's mind that time. he wanted to take eka away from everything and just be. for him. and at that time, edwin wasn't lost anymore.
edwin and eka went to edwin's house as quickly as possible. and when eka saw the house. wow. he was amazed as hell. the house was huge. he could even call it a mansion. it was super fancy and super luxury. eka didn't even think that edwin was a very very wealthy boy. edwin did talk about his family to eka. but he definitely didn't mention the super rich part. they went inside and edwin let eka to clean himself from all the slurpee. edwin waited in the kitchen when his mother came in.
"you've brought company?" asked mrs. printdes
yovita printdes was an aged woman. but everything about her looks seemed flawless. every curves in her body was perfect. and even though her face had some wrinkles on it, she still looked pretty damn beautiful. she wore a red dress that looked super expensive and black heels. so much for casual wear in the house.
"yes, mother" said edwin "just a friend of mine"
"one of the jocks again? because i don't want to come home late at night and found a bunch of drunk teenagers passing out on the floor" said mrs. printdes
"no, mom" he said "relax okay. he's a good guy"
"he better be" she said
a few seconds after that, eka went to the kitchen with a towel on his face "oh god it took so much time to wipe everything off" said eka. he couldn't see anything with a towel wrapped around his face. but after he took it off, he could see mrs. printdes standing there with edwin
"oh i'm sorry" said eka "we have met. i'm eka" he said while offering his hand. eka and mrs. printdes met at a cosmetic shop. eka was the shopman. he worked at the place and she often buy stuff there.
mrs. printdes looked at eka in disgust but tried to fake a smile "you're that cosmetic guy" she said while taking his hand to shake.
eka could see the fakeness. but he just ignored it. eka wasn't rich. not at all. he was in the lower class. come to think about it. edwin's class and eka's was so different. edwin was madly rich. eka was poor. but edwin became friends with him anyway. because edwin knew that eka was the only person that could understand him so well. he was the type of person that could make edwin feel comfortable. and their class difference was so unimportant to him.
"okay. i will leave you two alone" said mrs printdes before going out of the kitchen. she was about to go to dinner with her husband
but before she could go out of the room, mr printdes showed up.
sri printdes was a very well man. he was wearing a suit with a purple tie. his thick brown hair was shining perfectly. he looked like a busy man. but eka could feel a comfortable aura around him. unlike mrs printdes.
"honey, are you ready?" asked sri to his wife. but he was surprised to see eka "oh we have a friend"
"pleasure to meet you, sir" said eka with a polite smile "i'm eka"
mr printdes took eka's hand and smiled. the smile was honest and clear. it showed his perfectly white teeth "pleasure to meet you too" he said "well, we have to go. you boys have fun" said sri
mr and mrs printdes went outside for dinner. probably at a very fancy restaurant. well it looks like edwin couldn't come out just yet. the timing was wrong. but there was always next time. look at the bright side, edwin could get ready for real and think about the right words to say. edwin and eka decided to sit on the edge of the pool (yeah edwin had a pool. i know, right). dipping their feets to the water and just talk about stuff.
"i hate it when people harm you" said edwin
eka smiled "i got used to it"
"how could you? i mean. urgh. those bastards will pay"
"hey. don't worry about it. all they are is mean. and that couldn't stop me from shining" said eka. he looked at the pool "thanks. for caring"
"no problem at all" he said "i wanna say something to you"
"what?" asked eka curiously
edwin sighed "i know who i am right now. and it's all because of you. i owe you big time" eka just smiled in return. but edwin continued "i also have figured out my feelings"
"yeah?"
"yeah. turns out, i have feelings.. for you" said edwin nervously
eka's eyes widen. he instantly got fireworks inside his chest. finally. but he didn't say anything. he just stared the boy beside him with a hopeful look.
"i mean, i like you. you're funny and awesome and everything. sometimes i don't understand what you're saying, but you're the only person in this world that can make me.. lit" said edwin "so here it goes. be my first boyfriend ever?"
aw that was sweet. eka had no doubt in his mind "yes oh my god yes!" said eka. he almost jumped inside the pool because of the excitement.
yes.
===========================
"okay guys. so this is it. we can use the auditorium for today's assignment. and whatever happens, whatever our secrets are, i don't want you guys to comment about it." said mr veri
the madesu club was prepared with a brown shirt. the wore brown because it implied honesty. and honesty was all they need for this task. they went to the auditorium. mr veri was joining them too on the stage. they started it off with a song.
I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kind of boring
Need something that i can confess
Till all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no, I've been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
"my parents are getting a divorce" said venna in the middle of the stage while the others were singing. she stepped aside and chacha took her spot
"i'm in love with a girl" said chacha
"i try to believe that there's a cure for my legs" said jodi
"my dad died ten years ago. but i still can't accept it. i just can't go to the basement where we keep his stuff" said evodie
This time
Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm Gonna give all my secrets away
"my mother is a control freak. and i don't know if i can stand her. that's why i'm such a bitch" said naomi
"i'm in love with aji" said thalia
"i'm not as strong as you think. i cry so much at night just because people hate me" said eka
"i mohwhawked my head just because i think i'm uncool without it" said michael
My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like were chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems we could solve
And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Singing straight to cold?
I don't really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
I'm sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away
"i hate myself for being fat" said icha
"i don't know what to do anymore. i don't know my future. i don't know how to deal with problems. i ran from it" said fransis
"sometimes i wish i wasn't a blonde" said darrent
"i love dancing. it's my passion. but my dad doesn't agree with it. i don't know anything else i could do besides dancing" said albert
"i hate being an asian" said jessica
This time
Don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm Gonna give all my secrets away
"i wish i could save my wife. she died on a car accident. and i blame myself for not chasing her that night" said mr veri
Got no reason
Got no shame
Got no family
I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'ma tell you everything
All my secrets away
there. it has all been done. they have given their secrets away. some felt relived, some felt exhausted, some felt that their burden had been pushed aside, some felt safe. everything felt good when you're able to tell your problems to others. it was like helping each other with sharing your problems. it will be solved quickly when you deal with it together. right? it sure felt like it.
"cancer? wait. are you serious?" asked one of the baking club member to the other
"yes i am. i mean, i saw him going to a chemo appointment in the hospital yesterday. i swear to god it was aji. i could recognize those curly hair everywhere" said denna, the
'leader' of the baking club
and then all the boys and girls from the baking club were gossiping to each other about aji in the hallway. denna saw him the day before in the hospital. waiting for a chemotherapy session. clearly he had cancer. was it really him?
"yeah, i think he has cancer and decides not to tell" said denna again
thalia accidentally heard what she just said "what? who has cancer?" asked thalia
denna was surprised as hell because she had never ever ever ever talked to a cheerio before. they had their own groups. and cheerios wasn't really getting along with the baking club. so she just answered nervously
"uh, aji, mam" said denna while fixing her glasses
thalia widen her eyes and ran to aji's locker without saying anything to the nervous girl.
"she's totally cool" mumbled denna
thalia found aji in front of his locker and he smiled. but he was surprised with the anger on her look.
"hey babe. what's u-"
"cancer? fucking cancer? you have a fucking cancer and you didn't tell me?" said thalia
"wait. i can ex-" but before he could say anything, she stopped him again
"what the fuck? i feel like i'm the last person that knows this" said thalia "whatever" she looked like she was about to collapse. that was why she turned around and tried to leave him
"hey! listen to me!" said aji while putting his grip on her arm and turned her around "i'm sick, okay? i've been this way since six months ago"
"but what the hell? you think that by keeping this as a secret then you won't get into trouble?" asked thalia. still angry
"i.. i don't know" said aji. he looked down. but he didn't let go of her arm "look, doctor said that i'm lucky. if i weren't then i would be dead 3 months ago. and i just-"
"how long?" asked thalia. she felt tears start falling from her eyes. he didn't answer and just looked down. she put her finger on his chin "how long?"
"if i'm lucky, a month" said aji with a sad face
thalia was shocked of how short the time he got left. she was in love with him for christ's sake. she started crying. aji held her and stroked her hair gently
"ssshhh. it's okay" he said
"no. no it isn't" said thalia
"yes it is" said aji
"you won't be here"
"i'm here now"
"but all we have is now" said thalia. she was still crying. unable to contain the emotions that was floading through her
"then let's make it count"
there they were. in the crowded hallway. trying to think about now.
============================
"so how can i do this?" asked michael to chacha
"well, she likes flowers, but not cheap ones. she could tell" said chacha
"and what else?"
"she's really a sweet person. she needs you to show her that you're really into her. like maybe say sweet things or something like that" said chacha
"like what?" asked michael
chacha sighed. she still couldn't believe that she was helping michael to get naomi back. she felt nauseaus. it wasn't supposed to be like this. but as long as naomi's happy. so... it kinda hurt. chacha didn't agree to this at all. but what if being with michael could make naomi happy? what if? so she went with it. she helped michael to get naomi back. it wasn't really for michael or for herself. it was really for a very special person, naomi.
"like how much you like her. how much you like her voice. her eyes. her skin color. her smile. her laugh. oh god her laugh. her hair. how much you
love everything about her. give her flowers. take her on a date. convince her that you want her so badly that you'd die for her. that's what i'd do" said chacha
"whoa. that's a lot of work right there" he said
"what? really? you need to do that, mike. you need to show her what you'd do to have her back" said chacha
"well, okay. thanks by the way" said michael while walking away
as long as you're happy.
HEY OKAY SO I GUESS THIS IS IT. OH MY GOD THIS UPDATE IS LIKE THE LONGEST EVER. sorry guys. it's just that i'm not in the mood to write over the past few weeks. at least i finished it. whatever. so i think this chapter is kind of okay. but really not my best. OH HEY you should really check out glee season 3 . really. seriously. go for it. if you do then you're cool bro. if you don't, then... okay. SO i won't do any comments because this chapter needs to be posted ASAP. i'm not sure if anyone is still reading it but the hell with it i still do. i kinda love writing actually. *ssshhh it was supposed to be a secret*. i love you guys by the way. i was thinking if maybe i could do a mixed up story between madesu dadu and night three. whatcha think? it's gonna be hard and complex but i'm up for the challenge. so, give me your thoughts. AJI HAS CANCER OH MY GOD I'M SUCH A FUCKING BITCH.
the songs are lovebug- jonas brothers (oh my god this song is kind of old BUT WHATEVER I'M A BADASS), give love a try- nick jonas (another jonas. wow), secrets- onerepublic. this chapter is not very long and the songs are not very many. but i hope you enjoyed it anyway! 
