My Funny Crush Confession
hey yessica.okay i'm going to tell you about my little crush in junior high.i know having crushes in our age is normal,but i still have to tell you because maybe this time is a bit different.
okay i never expect that this will happen to me,but it did.so,there's this girl in our school.i met her like maybe a year ago.at eight grade.i didn't even notice her in seventh grade.
this is so awkward.writing like this here.but yess,i have to tell this to someone or else i'm gonna explode.
anyways,when i first met her,i feel like there's something about her.and i really really want to know what it is.whoa,this is so lame.i know.then i went for it.i chase her and dig and dig and dig.i don't know why i chased her.i just feel like i need to.everytime i go online,i will greet her and start a chat.and she didn't seem like she resist it.of course she didn't.i'm not that scary.
and we found chemistry.
we became good friends.i think.i don't know,yess.because i don't know when will i label a person as my friend.haha i'm so unsocial.sad.you're my friend,right yess?yess....?
it continued.we chat,we text,we hang out.talking to her,chatting with her,hang out with her.those things are the things that i really really enjoy.like,after school i always go online and she's there.i will be like "hey" and we chat until one of us has to go.it's the best part of my day.she makes me smile and she's not even trying.do you ever feel that to a person,yess?
back then,what i know was......she's different.
everytime she passes the hall in front of our class,i will stop studying for a minute just to see her walking pass our class.hoping that she'll notice me and throw me a smile.never happens.cries.everytime we have to exchange our class with hers,i always smile at her even though she doesn't.
i'll be the happiest man in the world if she smiles at me.
i started having these feelings that kept bugging me.feelings for her.so, i asked myself about this unusual feelings.
what is this feeling?
what i realized is that i care.i care so much about her.you don't know how much i care about her,yess.so does she.i care about how she feels.i do.i want to be there when she needs someone.but.....
i'm afraid.
i'm afraid that......i don't know.i don't know what i'm afraid of.maybe i'm afraid that she'll notice and she'll avoid me.i'm afraid that she won't like me.i hate myself for being such a coward.and maybe that's because i'm still unsure of what i'm feeling towards her.
so i did nothing.
like this one time i saw her crying.she rushed to the girl's bathroom.her girl friends were chasing her.it really did so much to me.i saw her crying face right before she went inside the bathroom.
that face.
through a glance.i saw pain.i saw regret.i saw sadness.i saw those things.and it just made a large hole in my heart.i don't know why.i never thought i'd see her cry like that.a cry of torture and heartbroken.i hate seeing her like that.it felt like my heart stopped.her tears ruined me.i want to wipe all of it.i want to dry her tears.i really want her to be okay.seeing her cry,it just ruined me.teared me into pieces.i want to comfort her.give her my shoulder.and tell her that.........i'm right here.i'm here for her.
but.....girl's bathroom.not a good idea to barge in.
and again,i did nothing.
after i saw her crying,i realized something.this feeling,it's not just "i care".it's more than that.it's way more than that.so i asked myself again.do much more thinking.
her smile.my god.that smile
it made me shiver and gave butterflies to my stomach
her voice.that cute voice
i want to record it and listen to it for the rest of my life
her name.rare
my heart skips a beat when i hear that name.i don't even know why
after i did much thinking,i labeled this feeling into a crush.i kind of like her,yess.and not as a friend.as in like her like her.
that is huge.because i never feel this way for a person before.it's hard to impress me.but this one girl.she impressed me a lot.
i stopped my thoughts there.
days passed.seasons changed.this feeling is still there.it's getting stronger everyday.i like her even more.i can't stop thinking about her.literally,everything i do reminds me of her.every song reminds me of her.everything.
oh my god.she's so distracting.i can't eat,i can't sleep.it's because i always think about her.and she's always there in my dreams.always.before i go to sleep,i think about her.
her beautiful eyes,her perfect hair,her perfect face.i can stare at it all day.the way she talks.the way she walks.the sound of her laugh.she's paradise.
so many day goes by.the feeling won't go away.and i haven't done anything about it.
so i traveled my thoughts again.
first of all,i care.second of all,i like everything about her.is it just a crush or something more?
what do you think,yess?
i can't get enough of her smile,her laugh,the perfection of her lovely face.i can't push her away from my head.what is this feeling?
love?
whoa,slow down.that's a big word right there.do you think i fell in love with her,yess?what do i know about love?and is it possible for me to love her?
but now i'm pretty sure that i love her.
i
love
her.
i have this feeling of love towards her but i don't change anything.our friendship is still there.not less and sadly,not more.
i'm afraid if i tell her,she'll reject me
of course.rejection is huge for me.it can hurt me.i hate being rejected.it made me feel like i'm not good enough.
so,i stay this way.i don't want to be obvious to her.but on the other side,i want to tell her.so bad.
okay,i think this is enough.i've told you everything.i love her and i still do.
i haven't told her.should i tell her?
you know,i never tell this to anyone.about my funny little crush.i just think that you're the right person,yess.i think you're a good listener and you can keep secrets.i love getting advice from you.i just like that about you.so i'm telling you all this.thanks for listening.or reading.whatever.
arrgghhh she's so mysterious,yess.i don't know who she likes.you two are pretty close,right yess?can you please ask her who she likes?surely you girls talk about those stuff right?and lucky for me,she's still single.do you think i have a shot with her?
i don't.
but i'm really hoping for it to happen.i'm hoping that i can love her with all my heart.i want to,if she lets me.i'm hoping that i can have her in this moment.i love her more than you'll ever know.i'm hoping that she can love me.
i want to be the guy that brightens her day.even though she's already the brightest star i know.
ps:please post this to your blog.that honana thingy.and....translate it to english.i know,you're good at it and blahblah.i don't want to sound cheesy.i think she reads your blog.i don't know.well....she does follows you in it.i'm hoping that she'll read it though.and don't mention her name.i'm afraid haha.thanks by the way!
AHAHAHAY wew ni orang.ternyata ada gitu orang kayak gini.omg jelas banget.lo kalo suka sama seseorang jangan sejelas ini napa bang.AAHHH kok habis ditranslate jadi so sweet banget gini ya HAHA I LOVE YOU.you're soooo damn romantic and poetic huh.ga nyangka.you're so freaking lucky blah!to have someone as sweet as this to love you HAHA.nih udah kupost.semoga jadi ya,amin.SHE'S RIGHT THERE MAN,GO FOR IT.WOOHOO.kalian sangat cocok *creys*
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